A
female
age
30-35,
*tellablueee
writes:I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and I've noticed within the last few months he seems to be less interested in spending time with me. We live together but don't see each other that much because of work. The only thing we really do together is run errands. He never wants to have fun with me anymore, he's always trying to hang out with his friends. I've also noticed things that are making me question is faithfulness and commitment. About a month ago he went to the bar with a few friends and ended up calling one of his ex girlfriends for some reason. I phone out because I went through his phone and when I confronted him he became really defensive and refused to tell me why he called her. His reasoning kept changing and I could tell he was lying. I noticed that he deleted the texts and call after I confronted him too. He deletes all of his text messages and has a lock on his tablet which leads me to believe he's going out of his way to hide something from me. I've noticed him going in Facebook more and more lately (that's how we met) and he keeps adding new girls as friends and liking girls pictures and things like that. I know boys will be boys and he's going to look regardless but the fact that he spends more time on Facebook than he does paying attention to me really worries me. He also told me that he thinks he should be allowed to flirt with other girls even though I said it made me uncomfortable. I know he's not cheating on me because we share a car and I pretty much know where he any time of day and at the end of each night he's with me, but I do think he's starting to lose interest and looking to talk to new girls. Any opinions? Should I get out before I get hurt or is he just being a guy?
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (13 March 2014):
 I second Honeypie's answer. He does seem to be losing interest. Definitely start extricating yourself from him. Get your ducks in a row and part ways.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (12 March 2014):
 I would start to disentangle myself from this guy. You share an apartment AND a car?
How does that work financially? Are you both on the lease? The car, who owns it? And how do you two pay for it?
Have you told him, you want to DO things together? That things are getting a little "Stale"?
Do YOU go out with YOUR friends? Or do you expect him to be your whole world?
Personally, it's been little over a year and he is reaching out to other girls on FB - JUST like how he met you. He WANTS to flirt with other girls even if it makes you uncomfortable - he really don't give a rats behind as to HOW you feel.
You don't trust him (and apparently rightly so) so you snooped and went through his phone. He LIED about what went on with the ex-gf and now he has locked you out of the tablet (again rightly so, because he IS entitled to PRIVACY when it comes to his phone whether you like it or not) and he delete texts... This is NOT about "boys will be boys" This is about him not having ANY respect or CARE for your feelings and I think he is consciously or subconsciously pushing your buttons to get you to leave or end it.
Time to find a way out for yourself.
What are YOU getting out of this relationship as it is now? He doesn't want to DO anything with you (except run errands, how exciting) and he rather spend time with his friends. Which makes you feel UNIMPORTANT and distrustful. Which makes you DISREGARD his RIGHT to privacy and snoop through his things in hopes of finding either proof of misconduct or ammo for fights. You are LOOKING for an out.
You two are not very good at communicating with each other, if I were you I would work on that.
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