A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi all, I really need your help.Is it wrong to have the need to be wanted by someone ? I like attention, but from only someone who loves me. I feel the need to be wanted and desired all the time. Is there sometehing wrong with me ???I am married and my wedding anniversary is tomorrow, 14 years togehter. He is a good provider, and a kind sweet person, and I know that he loves me, but I want him to be crazy over me. I don't he was ever crazy over me. Our marriage was arranged, and I liked him and he did me. We have always had a wonderful life together, but I feel so lonely, and can't understand why ? I have told him and been telling him this for more than a year now, but he doesn't seem to care. He doesn't go out of his way on his own to take me out or anything. If I ask him for us to go to the movies,or something, he will even if it's 11 at night.But he never suggests that we go and spend quality time somewhere. Please, can someone tell me what my problem is ? do I need help ? Please be honest , becasue I want to be a good wife, Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2007): I think some of the other answers here have missed your point. I understand what you are saying - you love your husband and he loves you - but he just isn't showing enough physical passion for you.
From experience I know how hard and disheartening that can be. You have obviously already talked to your husband about it, but maybe you need to do so again and stress very strongly just how important this is. Simply telling him obviously isn't getting the message through.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Hello,
You are being a good wife if you have been together 14 years! I think that you might be surprised to find out that he IS crazy about you. You may just be married to an undemonstrative man. He may not say anything, but a man who will go to the movies at 11:00 at night at the drop of a hat to please his wife?!!! Actions speak a LOT louder than words - he loves you! He may have not said it often enough, but if he comes home every night and you don't have to wonder where he has been, always supports you and is there for you, then he loves you. Most men don't think about romancing their wives. Most women feel the words need to be said, but a lot of men feel that they have expressed their love in the physical act of making love - and by the things that they do. I never really hear very much from my husband and he has been always travelled for work, so I was amazed when I travelled with him and people talked to me as if they were familiar. It seems that my man of few words spends a great deal of time talking about me when we are apart, so I guess I'll be content with the knowledge that he feels the same way I do! I bet you would find out that he is proud of you and talks about you too! They often say things to others that they they take forgranted as common knowledge to their spouse, they assume we know it already. You may have to be the one that puts a bit more effort into making arrangements, but he sounds like he's worth it! You could even include him and draft him into service on the next planning session, it might rub off on him and he may learn a thing or two.
Congratulations and Best Wishes on your 14th Wedding Anniversary!
Birdynumnums
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2007): Honey;
You don't have a problem , your marriage doesn't have
problem, you are just bored .
Be careful though, many people started to have affair
after many years of marriage because they think they fall
out of love, but most of the time they are just bored.
You need to put your foot down , show your husband how
unhappy you are, if he really loves you , he will show you
the love and affaction you need. If he has problem showing
them , teach him, men are like this sometimes.
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A
female
reader, pollyanna +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Everyone has a basic need to be loved and feel loved. I think you are loved... but you are not feeling loved. You understand the difference? If these feelings are so strong and you can't seem to get around them, maybe it might be time to find some type of counseling for your marriage. I think it would be good for you. You can be happier. Good luck to you!
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A
male
reader, rk06 +, writes (16 April 2007):
 It sounds like to me that you guys have fallen into routine. Do something to bust out of the routine... completely surprise your hubby... show him how great it feels to be thought of and desired..... he'll come around :)
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