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Is it wrong of them? Neither of them seem to think they have done anything wrong

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ebeccaa writes:

Okaay where to start.. Well i have been seeing this guy for a few days even though im all that into him i think hes okay but i thought id give him a chance. I will call this boy 'C' then there is one my best friends who i will call 'E'

She (E) is seeing his friend who i will call 'L' now i will say my friend 'E' is a huge flirt and does like male attention.

The other day it looked like 'E and 'C' were flirting, for example i was sat on a bench on my own and she and him were sat on the one a bit further away (when we went to the park) and he said im just going to sit next to 'B' (me) and 'E' said no i want you stay next to me, and i thought well i am the girl he wants to be with but i didnt say nothing.

I had a gut feeling something was happening, or some tension was building i left it a few days but this feeling became stronger. Me and a few of out other friends were talking about how we think 'E' had a 'thing' for 'C'.

That night i went onto 'E's facebook account (which i know was wrong) because her pasword was stored on my laptop. I went into her messages from 'C' just to see how they talk to each other, i was extremely shocked by what i saw.

i didnt want to be starting a new relationship with somone if they secretly had feelings for each other. Anyway the messages were things like "let me shag" you and then my friend had put "rather not" and lots of winky faces and kisses and their were some more further down that said "you know im sexy" and she had said "yes you are" lots of winky faces and kisses their were a few more like this about 3 more.

I eventually confronted them about it I told 'L' and he thinks its okay i told 'C' that there is no chance of a relationship now, and 'E' i cant be the same around her even though i have been talking to her a lot. Neither of them seem to think they have done anything wrong but my other friends agree with me and said it is out of order.

Is this wrong of them? What can i or should i do about it?

View related questions: best friend, facebook, flirt

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A female reader, Rebeccaa United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2011):

Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Rebeccaa agony aunt'C' has just moved to where we live, although i have known him from being little but have not seen him for a few years. He was begging me to go out with him for a long time but i have just had a rough relationship and i didnt think it was fair on him because it would be asif he is the rebound person. All he kept saying is i want to be with you i dont want anyone else please i love you so i thought okay then i do like him a little but but not as much as my ex boyfriend. So i just said lets just try and see if it works because if it doesnt now it wont if were in an official relationship

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2011):

celtic_tiger agony auntI am slightly confused by your question, but let me try and help.

So you having been 'seeing' this boy C for a few days. You are not that bothered about him, but you thought you would 'give him a go'.

C has been sending naughty flirty messages to your friend E (was this prior to 'seeing' you or after?)

It sounds like C and E have a thing for each other.

My question to you is, why, if you dont like him all that much are you bothered by this? Is he just someone to go out with and fool around with? You say yourself that you think he is only 'okay'. This doesnt strike me as the way you should describe someone you are seeing.

If you are not an official couple, and it has only been a few days since you started 'seeing' (I use the term loosely) then really they have not committed a massive crime. Yes you can feel a bit led on, but not betrayed or cheated on. You have been together days... that is NOT a relationship. If you had been dating for a year and this happened, then it would be a very different story.

She sounds like a flirt and he sounds like he enjoys the attention. They are a perfect match. Let them get on with it. Be the grown up and move on.

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