A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years now. We've known each other for about 3.75 years. One of my best friends is getting married to one of my gf's best friends in August and yes, we're both in the wedding party. I know my girlfriend is the one for me; I just know it. And I know she'd say yes if I asked her to marry me today. But I want to propose the night of our friends' wedding.Would that be appropriate or should I hold off for a week or so when the newlyweds have had their grand moment? I already have the perfect ring (a ring she actually "picked out" about six months ago when we were at the mall). Only wondering if it would be okay to pop the question then? Thanks for any input.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 You can ask her on the night of the wedding, after you both left the wedding and are on your own. It would be tacky to steal someone elses moment. Ask your friend who is getting married first perhaps, since you will be stealing the show. Your friend might think it is lovely, and if so do go ahead. But it is not your party after all, you are only a guest there.
Best of luck, and remember most girls love a personal proposal where they can be the center of attention. Maybe your girlfriend wouldn't like to celebrate her engagement at someone elses wedding party...
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Make sure you feel confident enough that she will say yes and it isn't just the wedding mood. Daletom is right where weddings will put people into romantic moods. If you are sure she will say yes, wait a few days after the wedding. How would YOU like it if a couple got engaged on your wedding day? Let the new couple have their day.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (6 May 2010):
Yeah, weddings can put folks into a romantic mood. Among my circle of married friends, there seem to be a lot of kids born 9 months after somebody got married. But I sort of think you knew the answer before you asked the question . . . but you hoped somebody would agree with you.
I think "Tisha-1" hit it right on the head. Don't make any move that would draw attention away from the couple getting married. I don't think you need to wait for weeks - just long enough for the couple to be well off on their honeymoon would be OK in my opinion. Yeah, that could even mean the night of the wedding, after you have helped with whatever cleanup or other special tasks you're doing for the couple.
(In some cases, the wedding party meets for brunch on the day after the celebration. As long as you're certain the newlyweds will NOT be dropping in, I don't think that would be an inappropriate time to announce your engagement - if you can deal with some of the jealousy and obligation issues that "Tisha-1" mentioned.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Not a good plan.
That is someone elses wedding day, and it will always be remembered as THEIR wedding day.
Your girlfriend will want to look back and remember the day you proposed as "her" special day, not someone elses.
Good luck!!
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 I would leave it until after the wedding. A wedding is all about the couple involved and you don't want to steal their thunder.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): my friend's boyfriend did that to me on my wedding day, it was awful. It was supposed to be a day for myself and my husband and he got up and made a speech proposing, totally stole the spotlight, I would have been happy for them no matter what but it really really upset my husband and our family that he did that.
I would make it a day that is special to only you too... Imagine hwo your bride would feel if this happend to her on her wedding day?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 May 2010):
 What a wonderful question! And very romantic. Personally, I wouldn't ask her on the day of the wedding or at any event leading up to it, like the rehearsal dinner or anything like that. It's really kind of stealing the spotlight from the couple and I think it could be considered a ploy for attention and rude by some. Others might find it swooningly lovely, but it could draw too much attention.
You also have to consider that everyone at that wedding might then be expecting an invitation to yours. It sounds like you're a sociable guy but you might be setting up expectations that won't be met and there might be some hurt feelings. You don't want a carbon copy of this couple's wedding, do you? You'll make the bride feel uncomfortable and your girl will not feel good if she draws the attention that should be the bride and groom's.
I think you should find a special day that will be just the two of you and then you can share the good news with all your family and friends.
Congratulations!
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A
female
reader, Isa123 +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Congratulations!!!
To be honest, wait a week. Let the newlyweds have their big moment and the limelight put on them. Propose to her after a week and she'll be calling her best friend with great news!!!
Good luck to you!!
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