A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Is it inappropiate for a female coworker to continue to text my husband, of 22 years? He says they are just friends and he is doing nothing wrong. She only text him when he is at work, they work opposite shifts. I have seen some of the texts and they are work related. Recently she has been texting him more frequantly while he is at work. She has asked him to meet up at a bar with her and other people from work. Other wives think she is a home wrecker. This female coworker works in a prodominmate male profession. We used to fight about this and have been to counceling. But it is starting to irritate me and I want to say something to him, but what do I say to him to get my point across that I want this to stop. There has even been a few times that I have blocked her number while he was at work. He of course does not know this. What should I say to him to get him to stop texting her? Should I text her and tell her to back off. I do not believe that he is cheating or having an emotional affair.
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female
reader, crazyy001 +, writes (16 November 2012):
she's disrespecting you by asking him to go out with her to the bar knowing he's a married man. she's a piece of trash
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): my husband and I went through the same thing for 6 years until I slapped his face with a divorce paper.Theres a limit to everything. there are baby steps to the opposite sex friends... First it was just friends texting and calling, second they complain to my husband how a piece of ^^^t their husbands are, third they need to talk cause they are bored, fourth they want to know how his days goes and his family, fifth they want to help out babysit our kids if we needed time aloneWhy the hell would I let a woman I don't know watch my kids? I got male friends BUT NOOOO I go watch his kids for him so he can ???? Seriously?? I feel your pain my dear my advise is......don't call that trash I did that already and I'm ashamed of myself, second ask your husband why he defend her? Tell him she's being disrespectful to you as his wife by asking him to go out to the bar with her SINCE HE"S MARRIED, second ask him if he like the attention he gets thats why he argue with you about her, tell him if he's ok with you texting another guy to go hang at the bar without him.....my husband argues with me for 6 years about these friends of his until one decided to text him little hearts and "i miss you" to his phone.....goes from innocent behavior to flirty...it was on I kick his balls soooo hard he was in tears....got divorce papers and told him to get ready for ONE OF THE WORLD"S MOST NASTY DIVORCE EVER....thats my limit, hell NOOO I will be with a attention whore husband for the rest of my life, well believed it or not were still together lol he change his number, delete Facebook and he's well behaved.....my advise is...get with your male friends and start texting them make him jealous
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2012): "what do I say to him to get my point across that I want this to stop."
Just tell him that you want this to stop. If, after saying it this bluntly, he continues to text her, then there is nothing at all that you can do because this is a free country and he is allowed to do as he pleases. If your husband CHOOSES to do something that he knows upsets you, there's nothing you can do to make him stop. All you can do is either learn to accept it or decide how you will respond to his behavior.
this woman may have a reputation for being a home wrecker but realize that a home can only get wrecked if one of the spouses chooses to wreck it (and usually spouses only choose to wreck their home because it's not all that great in their mind). This woman would only be an accessory, not the cause, if anything were to happen. The responsibility lies with your husband and not her, because he is the one who is married to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): I do not think it is a appropriate for a married man to frequently text a woman. I don't like opposite sex friendships, acquaintances are fine, but good friends who text back and forth and go out drinking, not okay. Call it insecurity, call it whatever you want, you find it inappropriate so you tell him so. It is your relationship, not anyone else's, and you dont have to be forced into dealing with something you dont agree with just because others say its fine. Say you do not wish for him to text this woman, you don't like it and find it inappropriate. Don't text the woman, you will seem crazy and immature. Plus it is up to your husband to stop the behavior. I don't think you are out of line. Make it known to your husband you don't want him doing this.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (15 November 2012):
If you don’t think that there’s anything going on between your husband and this colleague, and the texts are innocent enough, what’s the problem? He’s entitled to have female friends and indeed to socialise with them, as are you with other males. This is insecurity. Other people may say things about her but why don’t you judge for yourself? Perhaps you should suggest your husband introduce you to each other some time, if you’ve not yet met. Then you can make up your own mind. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what she is or is not. What matters is whether or not you trust your husband. If you do then whatever her motives (and incidentally it sounds like she’s not stepped out of line at all), you’ll have complete confidence in your husband. If you don’t trust him then there are issues in your marriage and fixing those should be the focus of your efforts instead of projecting that fear on to this woman.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 November 2012):
 I agree... just because OTHER women call her a home wrecker does not mean she is.
IF she is only texting about work why does this bother you?
what is it about your relationship with your husband that is making you feel so upset if you do not believe him to be cheating?
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (15 November 2012):
 If you knew for sure that it was only about work, would it still bother you? Do you have reason to mistrust him?
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