A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been friends with this guy since I was childhood, he is 21 and Im now 22.I have currently finished with my partner Derek a few weeks now but John is with someone at the moment and has a 1 year old son, I have a little boy myself aged 4. The thing is John came down to my house the other week to have a few drinks, he was flirting with me and started to started to talk about our childhood memories together we end up kissing and that led onto sex, we've always liked eachother in them ways but also liked eachtother as friends!. The thing is before he started to flirt with me, he was speaking about he's girlfriend Laura, I dont know how he got on to the subject but he was saying she's not his "girlfriend" if you know what i mean? he was saying there not close and never have sex and he only loves her a the mother of his child. I know this still doesnt give me any right to do what i did with him that night!!Now John is acting different with me since that night, some of my text he answers and some he doesnt, when i brought it up about the other night he doesnt text me back but if he does he always gives me quick short text, nothing to satisfy me, he doesnt seem to want to get into it. We have been at 2 parties together since that night with a few friends of ours, and me and John seem grand , acting like friends again, but i noticed later on in the night when everyone starts getting a bit typsy, John would give me the looks or if I walk past him he would slap me accross the bottem, discretly, he followed me to the toilet, when i came out he was there and started to kiss me, ( i kissed him back). It just seems to me, when he is drunk he would act like this, is he using me in them ways? or is it that he does like me but just doesnt feel guilt when drunk?? he said to me in a text that he really does like me but he doesnt know what to do, I assume he means with his girlfriend??.Before all this happened he would answer my text straight away or even ring my mobile or my house the odd time to chat and to go out with himself and his family and friends. But since that night he rarely gets back to me.I know John always had a thing for me and really liked me as a friend aswel he was always a very good friend and to my family.I just dont know whats going on in his head right now.Is he just confused?( sorry for the really long message)Hope you can help, I know this might sound confusing)Thank YouTonia xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 He sounds confused. Perhaps you need to give him and yourself a bit more space. I know it's maddening to be in a situation like this, but I think you need to go slowly while he figures it out.
The next time he comes on sexually, you would be within your rights to ask him what's going on. He shouldn't keep giving out positive signals on the sexual side while putting the brakes on the emotional side. That's not fair to you.
Sorry, I can't give any more advice than this.
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