A
female
age
36-40,
*anadianhotass
writes:I'm currently with a man i have been with for over 3 and a half years. and i have never had a problem with this, but yesterday night i busted him looking at all this Drunk chick stuff, like on youtube, "young girl on webcam" showing her ass n shit, chicks with i love cock written all over them with marker, all drunk, all young and half naked, 15yr olds grinding on each other, like, I asked him, am i not good enuff for you? he said no, but tried to leave to a hotel when i got upset, and i had to hide his keys! then he started telling me to go to bed, n drop it, he shut off, was like a different person! im so confused, i dont know whats goin on, what do i do? let it go? no big deal? he says he doesnt wanna hurt me last night, n then this morning i said i love u cuz i was still upset n he told me to f off, cuz he says i was freaking out, omg, its a mess, i have never had a huge thing like this with him b4, and i started puking n everything when i found out, im a mess, i dont wanna get on him about it but i wanna know y?? was it something i did? i gave him head that morning for craps sakes. and i f him like a dream. is he bored of me?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 "I think you should do it too, have a browse & tell him what kind of guys you like etc... play him at his own game a little"
Not a good idea in my opnion to be honest. Could lead to the situtaion besoming a HELL of a LOT WORSE!
Why bother?
Seems clear to me you're better off without him. Let him leave next time. Dump him NOW!
A
female
reader, lil'shade  +, writes (1 November 2007):
I'm sorry but I would have gave him the keys and said bye if you want that chick go get her. B/C i'm not bout to do all dat 4 no man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): He may just like porn a lil bit and that's normal but the 15 year old girls are not!! That's what you should ask him why are you looking at these young girls. He may like them cause there wild and will do crazy stuff! But get down to the bottom of it try and understand it.
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A
female
reader, Strippa +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Hey you
I think you should do it too, have a browse & tell him what kind of guys you like etc... play him at his own game a little, don't feel like there is some sexual marathon you have to win so that you don't feel insecure - if the only way you are keeping him is by the frequency of how many times you go down on him then leave his ass! and go down on someone who doesnt make you feel like you always have to try so hard
take it easy on yourself g'friend yo ass is hot sista xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): he sounds like he doesnt like the confrontation of being told what to do or questioned about his actions; which comes out as him freaking out and trying to leave etc. But I agree that you have a right to wonder why he's looking at such things. It can only mean you feel hurt by not feeling good or exciting enough for him. It's immature of him and he's not respecting you/being too blind to see it would upset you.
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (1 November 2007):
 I dont think its a case of he is bored with you at all. Men will be men in many ways and watch porn is one of them. The way he is treating you and saying the things he is saying is out of order and i wouldnt stand for that. It sounds to me lik you have tried to talk to him and tried to sort things out.
Maybe a time apart will make him realise if this is what he wants but not only him you as well.
From what you have said i gather that you have been together for quiet a while and have grown comfterble with each other. Maybe spice thigs up a little, change your routine. Couples that have been together for a while tend to get into a routine even though they do not realise it. Try something new and see what happens. Dont take and crap of him in anyway and dont give in by sweetening him up with sexual favours or anything like that. He is a grown man and should know that you cant always get what you want.
Good luck chick
Peaches
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): He is probably mad that you caught him. And he is probably embarassed too, especially about looking at 15 year olds & stuff. I know that most men would want to look at this stuff. But when you're in a relationship & you know that your sig. other doesn't allow this behavior it should not go on. I just saw some things on my computer's history a couple days ago that made me feel the same way you're feeling. Like you, I had never had this happen with my husband. I think they just feel like they need to look once in a while. Don't freak out on him, don't blame it on him being bored of you. They are men, and they need to feel like men from time to time, wether it be them looking at drunk chicks, or some porno, or even gonig to a strip joint (which would be worse)I asked my husband & I flipped out too on him & he shut down on me. He kept denying that he even went to the websites, but I know I sure as hell didn't do it. What can we do? Just let them know it is not acceptable and that it hurts us, and hope they care enough to not do it in the future (or not get caught). Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): i will go with phil..guys do look at such videos n u can also hav look at it with...
but he wants to see it secretly then there mite b smethng hes hidin from u....
n be frank n talk to him about ur feelings....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): Hi Hotass - nice name!
No, he's not bored with you. This is a 'man thing' and he doesn't mean anything by it. Just male curiosity, that's all. Nothing to get all het up about. Nothing to feel threatened about. Just checking out the female form in all its glory.
You could always have a look at it with him, then he wouldn't feel he has to be secretive about it, and you'd probably find you didn't have anything to get upset about. May I recommend Humornsex.com, or sexyandfunny.com? Both have some pretty interesting stuff therein!
I guess you're insecure in your relationship if his looking at this sort of stuff bothers you.
Give him some space to enjoy his leisure time without feeling you have to 'bust' him when he's doing it, and thereby avoiding an eruption.
Phil
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A
female
reader, sexseahot +, writes (1 November 2007):
 I'm not one to say that he's bored of you, but you need to talk to him about his actions. He really doesn't need to be looking at the kind of stuff on the computer. Let him know exactly how you feel about that and if he respected you, he wouldn't do that since you don't appreciate it. It is a big deal, I would freak out too if I found my boyfriend looking at material like that on the internet. Just simply ask him why he's looking at that stuff. Does he look at it a lot? If he does, that's a problem. If it's the first time and realized that it hurts you and quits, then it's fine.
Good Luck!!!!
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A
female
reader, canadianhotass +, writes (1 November 2007):
canadianhotass is verified as being by the original poster of the question I did meet him when i was 16... n we've been together ever since....
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (1 November 2007):
 It's not you. It's him. You had reason to freak out. He's displaying behavior that is not good for being in a relationship. It is a big deal. If he's looking at minors, he may start trying to find relationships with minors as well.
I'd talk to him about it, without yelling, and let him know how you were upset about this, and how it makes you feel that he's looking at others instead of paying attention to you.
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