A
female
age
30-35,
*anni19
writes:SO i recently moved into a 4 bedroom townhouse with my 3 roommates. 2 girls 1 boy. John and i had a connection from the minute i first picked him up from the airport. we had talked a couple times over skype and we got along really well. when i picked him up it felt like we`d known each other for ever instead of a month. throughout the next week i played tour guide and showed him around ottawa. my other roommates worked longer hours so i stayed with him more as he got settled in. one night as we were watching tv on the couch he teased me and we had a mock pillow fight (we`re 20 and 23) it ended with him pulling me on top of him and tickling me which led to him stroking my back and rubing his face against mine. obviously i felt an erection. this happened multiple times during the following week. it seemed like we couldnt stop ourselves from casually seaking comfort from each other. then one day as we were chilling in his room i asked him why he didnt seem to want to kiss me, he didnt say anything and i got up to leave feeling so stupid but he pulled me down and gave me the most amazing kiss i`d every had. i`ve never felt such a connection before. we kissed for about an hour then he sent me to bed. the next day he sat me down and said we couldnt continue the way we were going because he had just moved here and needed time to adjust and that the whole roommate situation was confusing and stressful for him. while this was upsetting i agreed to it because i knew our other roommate Samantha hated the idea that john and i were `in like`with each other and i didnt want to stress him out either. everything was fine until we went out as a group to a local pub. john and i got seperated from the group and ended up dancing which ended with kissing again... the same thing happened the next day. he sat me down and told me we had to control ourselves. i can see he`s really beating himself up about this. he tells me he doesnt want to hurt me and that maybe i should try dating other guys. i try going on a couple dates with a nice successful sexy guy and he`s a perfect gentleman. if not for john i`d say this guy would be my dream man.but i cant get over john, when john goes out with his guy friends and drinks too much he always ends up getting kissed by random `ladies`i have a different term for it... because he`s irish women here find him un resistable and are always throwing themselves at him. he hasnt gone on dates with any of them and its always just a tester kiss. he tells me that he does it so he can find out if he can stop kissing me. which obviously he cant. cause every couple days for the past month this happens. recently we went out as a group and when john wasnt looking this guy came up and grabbed me inappropriatly. i freaked out and johns friend helped me calm down and found connor. i was drunk and got mad cause john said he`d look after me. john sat me down and told me he just wanted to be friends from then on `(stupid thing to say to a drunk girl) and i get mad and start yelling about how he thinks its ok for some guy to grab me and john punched a wall and said if he knew who the guy was he would kill him because he never wants me to be scared or hurt and that i was so important to him and he couldnt live in canada with out me. when he went to the washroom his friend came up to me and said that he could tell that john loves me because of the way he looks at me. which i denied because obviously how can he keep rejecting melast weekend john and i were trying so hard not to contact each other and to resist each other but we ended up making out heavily again. when we were done our `heavy petting` and while i was still naked in his bed he said to me. ì want you so bad and i know in my head that you`d be perfect for me, but my heart just doesnt feel it anymore and i dont know why, the feelings i had in my heart for you have been slowly going away`this was devastating to me especially considering where i was.all this week we once again tried to not go near each other. but somehow we always end up hand feeding each other, hanging out all the time and cuddling. its like we`re connected and one hundred percent comfortable with each other. on friday we all once again went out and i had to put up with not dancing with john (he always dances with me) and watching him flirt with some ugly skanky girl who looked at me and said òh what is she looking at me like that for`and he didnt want much to do with me so i left even though his friend once again stated that he knows john loves me even though john never told him that but had to come back an hour later when i remembed he had the only key and he`d been texting me telling me to plz come back and that he was worried about me. i went back to see the girl pull him down for a really gross kiss that he got out of quickly. he saw me and ran to me and pulled me into his arms asking me if i was ok and he kept running his hands down my arms and holding my face in his hands kissinng my face asking if i was ok and that i shouldnt have left. he took me home and i ended up shutting my hand in the door. he started kissing my finger trying to make it better but started yelling at me saying i shouldnt keep making him run after me and that i shouldnt get jealous about girls who dont mean anything and that i`m he girl he wants to date because i`m amazing and beautiful and nice but his heart just cant and we`re roommates. i started crying and he pulled me into his arms and started kissing me even and i told him we shouldnt cause we need to get over each other but we couldnt stop ourselves. we just cant stop. we havent had sex but thats mostly because we never have a condom on hand. its the day after right now.. he pulled me into his arms when he came home from work and snuggled with me in the kitchen but i`m afraid for tonight. what if he doesnt want to take me out with him tonight and ends up making out with some girl. it kills me. i feel like a yo yo. i've tried to move on but i cant. i've never felt this way about a guy before. normally i'm over a guy fast because i get bored. but i'm living with this guy and i still cant get enough of him. help?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 Of course you can't ever get over him because you can't get away from him. This is why it's proper roommate etiquette not to date your roommates.
Too late you are already heavily emotionally involved with him, and you two can't see to keep each other's hands off each other. Plus, you get jealous when he dances, kisses, or flirts with other girls. So if you can't move out, then I would have a serious talk with John, and bring up dating, otherwise these problems will persist with you guys making out, the sexual tension but not being tied down to each other...I'm afraid he doesn't want to be tied down, that's why he keeps on telling you he can't do this and for you to date other guys..Because he doesn't want to hurt you when he talks to other girls, or makes out with them. Either commit to a relationship, or you move on and out to another townhouse or apartment then maybe he'll be with you since you won't be living together.
A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (24 October 2010):
 go buy some condoms asap.
there, all problems solved?.
i feel he will still play the field though, and there is no long term future with this guy. and to be fair he has warned you.
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