A
male
age
30-35,
*ndy00
writes:Hi, me and my girlfriend are going through some problems. We've been together for just over 4 months now and in that time we have encountered a few turbulent periods in our relationship. One ongoing problem is sleeping at her flat. I find her bed really uncomfortable to sleep on. Some nights I toss and turn, which I understand can be annoying, but my main problem is how she reacts. She usually yells "STOP MOVING! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!". Sometimes she kicks me!! To me that is completely out of order. If the shoe was on the other foot I would be much more considerate and try to make her feel comfortable, but instead that just causes me stress and makes it even more difficult to relax and fall asleep.This morning after another rough night she was really out of sorts with me. Snapping and me, ordering me about, she even blamed me for the electricity running out when she was in the shower just because I was watching the television in the next room. I don't live there, the electricity isn't my responsibility. I offered her a lift to university and she refused, and when I left she made no effort to give me a kiss goodbye so I decided I wouldn't bother either and left the house.We had had an argument last night before which we patched up before going to bed. To start from the beginning, Wednesday was our anniversary which we both forgot about until I reminded HER that evening. I was going out to watch football with friends, and she offered to pick me up. In the end, I was 5 minutes late when I arrived at the place we agreed to meet, and she was really angry with me! I have no idea why, it was only 5 minutes!! We ended up fixing things and enjoying our evening. We did a bit of late night shopping and, since it was a special day, I paid for us to get 4 passport photos together in a photobooth.Then last night, we agreed to see eachother for what would have been the 4th night in a row after I played football with my friends from uni. After a couple of hours of running around I felt tired, and I asked if we could cancel seeing eachother for the night and see eachother tomorrow instead. After 2 hours she finally replied and she wasn't happy with me. When I phoned she got more angry and hung up on me. I THEN decided to drive over. It was a tense hour or so, I tried making small talk, offered to make her drinks whenever I got up to make, etc. I considered going home and not spending the night there after a pretty terrible evening, but she asked me to stay. Things were fine at the end of the night, but then of course neither of us slept well which has brought us back to where we are now!Am I missing something? She really seems to be making a big deal out of every little thing lately and it's really taking it's tole on me. I love her, but I can't keep feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. I feel like she needs to be a little more tolerant or else we should end the relationship. I know this question doesn't make me out to be the best boyfriend of the world, but I'd do anything for my girlfriend, and I think I do. I drive her around, buy her flowers, and try to make her feel special. I'm not perfect, but I don't think I deserve to be treated the way I am just now. Please tell me what you think, and any advice would be very helpful. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, visione  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 She is acting quite childish, but some people are just demanding like that. In your 4 months has she always shown some of these qualities or is it just recently? Perhaps now you are seeing the real "her". Most of the time people don't put down their front until about 2-3 months in, or they start taking things for granted and no longer put in the patience.Is there a couch/sofa or something you could sleep on aside from the bed? She might just be really irritated when she can't sleep (I know I am! I often chose the couch instead of the bed when I stayed in my ex's place - had nothing to do with him personally, I just couldn't sleep well with him next to me on small bed) and it often carries on to the next day.But anyways, has she been in relationships before? It also seems like she wants to make you work for things but isn't giving anything back, and a relationship is all about give and take. It really doesn't sound like this is worth it, especially if she is being so avoidant (hanging up on you, not willing to talk things out, etc). There seems to be a lack of communication all around. Sit her down and TELL her things that are making you unhappy, then LISTEN to why she is unhappy. It might just be a compatibility issue and you might just be better off without her.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 January 2010):
It's ultimatum time for this girl. Ask her straight if she wants this relationship to continue or not. If yes, then tell her you will not tolerate being treated like crap anymore and mean it. If no, cut all contact. If she says yes, listen to what she says. But if nothing changes, end it.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 Hun, sounds like she wants out of the relationship but doesnt know how to tell you.. hence being so nasty and argumentative all the time.
Sit down with her, tell her how you feel and since she is 'not happy with you' can she please explain because you are tired of being the 'punching bag'.
See what she has to say, but from what you have told us here, I dont see much of a future in your relationship.
Sorry!!
Honeygirl
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