A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure why i'm writing this, but here goes.I'm turning 19 this week and i've never even been in a relationship! Back in school i'd fall for the guys i couldn't have and after 3 years of not allowing myself to fall for anyone, i made a mistake: I let off my guard.This guy seemed a lot more "in my league", so to speak, but even so, i had no luck and he just wants us to be friends. He is however, really flirty towards me but i guess he just likes the extra attention that i foolishly give him for free,only one guy was ever capable of being with me more than once and i was being used, so his girlfriend would take him back.I'm a virgin, i have no idea what love is - actual love not platonic infatuation - and i just feel sorry for myself for being such a loser.I think even my friends think i'm a loser!Is it okay to just feel like i should have never been born? To feel this helpless and miserable? And don't tell me it's self confidence, cus it just doesn't work!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need  + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hey don't worry, there's a right time for everyone! Some people have boy/girl friends from the age of 12 or even younger, I think that's more of a worry, than NOT having one at 19! Don't put yourself down, there's probably loads of guys who have their eyes on you but you just can't see it! If it really bothers you then start going to nightclubs or sportcentres i'm sure you'll meet a few guys who'll take an interest in you! xx
A
female
reader, Mackenzie_heartbreakhotel  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 hey! i can relate to you so much because i am also 19 yrs old and i have never been in a relationship. it feels strange because all my friends already had a boyfriend / girlfriend, most of them even more than one.
im sure theres nothing wrong with us! :) you call yourself a loser - you should not!!! we are still very young and probably we get a boyfriend sooner than we thought. you say "And don't tell me it's self confidence, cus it just doesn't work!" are you not self - confident? when i was younger i was really shy (im still a lil shy sometimes but thats perfectly alright, you can still be a little shy and nevertheless self - confident) and i hated it when someone talked to me about self - confidence! i thought it would never work! but trust me it really does. if you are more self - confident you feel heaps better and you are even more beautiful. it really is that simple. im a model and i couldnt do this job if i wouldnt be self - confident - i just wouldnt look attractive!
so if you are not self - confident, please work on that. im sure you are a great person.
you say "i think even my friends think im a loser" do you really think so? have you talked to them about that? real friends would never think that of a friend... honey, im sure you are worrying too much.
if you would like to have a boyfriend then you should probably go out more, do sports, just have fun and try to relax - im sure he will come. please keep in mind how many unhappy relationships exist in this world. i think it is better to have had less relationships than looking back on a life with heaps of boyfriends who i didnt really love and who didnt love me back. do you know what i mean? i think if the right man didnt come yet - well maybe mister right is worth the waiting?
i bet a lot of girls wished they could turn back time and get their virginity back. i hope you wont be one of them. you make sure you take time. please dont worry too much, you are only 19. thats so young :) theres so much more to come.
and... you are an awesome person, you dont need a man by your side to feel complete.
feel free to personal message me anytime if you feel like it ok?
love,
mackenzie
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A
male
reader, Anonyman +, writes (4 May 2008):
 I understand becuase i'm the same. It's hard to pick yourself up sometimes becuase it keeps coming back at you, everytime you see your friends enjoying themselves, It's a nighmare. But i'm sure you're a great person inside, you need to try and put all this to the back of your mind and try to build your confidence and feel good factor back up. Go out with friends, take up a new hobbie, get out as much as you can and your confidence should return with this. Then you should find it easier to interact with boys, more confidence and happiness = more attraction.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): sometimes i really wish i had never gotten into relationships and had kept my virginity. relationships and sex and having a connection with someone is great. but it comes with so much worrying and drama. sometimes i wish i had more time to myself and for other things i care about. do not rush things, time will take its course and you will find someone, soulmate or not, to share your time, your joy and your sadness with. do not feel like a loser because i am sure you are a great person and you do not need a partner to feel complete.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): You're worrying way too much. I never had sex or was in a relationship until I was 20, which was four years ago now. I think you might be over analysing. If you want a relationship then look for a boyfriend.
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