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I'm not sure if I should go on a third date with him!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 July 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2017)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I recently met a guy on a dating app and we have gone on two dates. We spoke once over the phone for two hours and he doesn't really text and doesn't call me at all. However, he is always making plans ahead by asking me at the end of each date when we can meet again. He asks a lot of questions when I see him but I don't think there's much flirting...I'm a little confused because it looks as if he is interested but not engaged in getting to know me if we aren't in person. He told me before that texting is a lost cause. Usually the situation would be "he texts and/or calls but doesn't make plans". Now I'm not sure if I should go on a third date..since that's been lined up as well as going to the state fair when it opens in 2 weeks..

View related questions: engaged, flirt, text

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (6 July 2017):

N91 agony auntI don't see where you're coming from here.

He asks you lots of questions and is actively seeking further dates with you. How is that not looking interested?

He very clearly told you that he's not a texter.

I think the main thing here is whether you're interested in him, as he's clearly interested in you but somehow you don't see it.

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A male reader, judgedick France +, writes (6 July 2017):

judgedick agony auntWheader he is into texting or not is a none I see here, the big question is about if you see your self wanting to go ahead with trying to make something work with him or not, it is good to meet up like this and even though he is happy with what he is getting from you are not, so if you have a date set, you can phone him and tell him you don't see a futher in it with him, don't stand him up

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2017):

I'd rather date someone who actually wants to see me in person then send a bunch of lame text messages. But that's just me! Do you enjoy spending time with this guy or not?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (6 July 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntHow do you feel about him? Do you like him? Do you have things in common? Do you enjoy your dates? Do you want to see him again?

I wouldn't hold the refusal to text against him. It is just not his "thing". And maybe he feels it is a bit early to be phoning you between dates. Everyone is different.

In your shoes I would base your decision purely on whether you look forward to a date with him and whether you actually want to see him again. If not, then thank him for the two dates you have but but tell him politely but firmly that things are just not working for you and you don't feel it would be a good idea to carry on.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntAre interested IN him?

Because that is the point of dating someone, getting to know them better. And while I can see the logic in talking IN person to get to know one another, if texting is "the norm" for you to keep in touch and talk here and there and HE says texting is a lost cause for him - then maybe HE isn't the best match for you.

Honestly, OP? You don't sound very excited about this guy at all. And to expect HE pulls the entire courtship in arranging dates etc... it's not really working.

So decide DO you LIKE what you have seen, hear of this guy or is it a: "meeeh" he seems OK but he doesn't really make me to "mmm mmm mmm"... If it is, I'd possibly not waste HIS or YOUR time with a3rd date.

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