A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I start liking myself after many years of not standing myself? I'm so over my moodiness and my misery- I'm ashamed of myself because I should be thankful for my health my family and a fairly easy life but no matter what has happened I can't stand my life. I've been on meds-therapist- boyfriend - money - no money- skinny- fat - you name it I've gone through all stages and I just can't be happy. I have been told very bluntly by my psychiatrist - "jane ur not a happy person - and until u figure out how to be happy - nothing and no one will work" I get this logically I can somewhat understand what my doctor says but how can I put it into action- I've blamed everyone I can think of and I guess I'm just tired of doing that tooI'm selfish - I'm not patient - I love attention and I'm insecure. All the wrong combinations for a 31 year old woman
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2017): start to see yourself as unique and find value in yourself for anything you are capable of doing that helps some one in need.
You will ultimately focus less on yourself.
Also get meds.
Complete lack of happiness is depression and meds help.
Figure out what your expectations are and how achievable.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 July 2017):
 Go visit a third world country and help out with sick children who have no food and water, it might help you realize how lucky you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2017): I think you should work /volunteer to put things into perspective. Work at an animal shelter, care of sick/elderly, disadvantaged people etc something that spikes your interest. You will feel good about yourself because you are giving something back and when you have seen some of the darker side of life and other people experience it you will be more thankful.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (6 July 2017):
 What lifts your heart? What can you not resist smiling at? What gives you a warm glow inside? There must be something.
Some some it is a beautiful sunset. Or animals. Or babies. Or a new country to explore. Or a new mountain to climb. Or jumping out of an airplane (with a parachute of course!). Or a particular sport that gives them an adrenalin rush. Or creating something like a beautiful painting or sculpture. Or listening to or playing music. Or going to the theatre. Or reading a good book. Or helping those less fortunate. Or a million and one other things. There must be something which makes you happy - even if for a fleeting moment, something which makes you forget everything else and just live in the moment. Spend as much time as you can catching these fleeting moments of happiness.
I really don't believe anyone is happy all the time. Everyone has times when they feel insecure and unhappy. However, that does not mean that mood has to take over you completely or even ruin your day. When you feel yourself slipping into an unhappy mood, try to distract yourself with something which lifts your mood.
Who do you blame for your moods? Did you have an abusive or unhappy childhood? If so, have you discussed this with your therapist?
By the way, if you ever find out the secret to becoming patient, please message me and let me know. I am considerably older than you and I am still trying to figure that one out! Nobody is perfect.
Sending hugs and hoping they lift your mood, even if briefly.
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