A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:i am a woman of 64 and widowed. i last saw a man in my bed 3,5 yrs ago. i still want love and sex. is this normal. please dont give me moral answers. i know we all need love to the end of our lives. i want sex too. and with love cos i tie sex with love. so my question is if its normal that i still have sex urge. i orgazm intenlsy in masturbation when i have a certain man in mind,cos otherwise i cant. its acutally like having an intercaourse with him. and i orgazm. is it normal. i belive it is,cos i live it and cos sexologists say it is. but recently a man online got hurt that i sent him,who is 'only' 48 a flirt. so he sent me a very insulting message for daring want sex at my 'granny' age. and i wear jeans and my son of 33 married and having a baby boy,wants me to. i am of very alive mind and life. so why did this man send me this insults. why was he insulted by my flirt. is it the country i live in,southeast,but not moslem... please only people who know the answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2022): I’m a 64 year old married woman and we are coming up on our 44th anniversary this year. We are still in love and we both still love sex. I began having problems a few years ago with dryness, feeling irritable, thinning hair and urge incontinence. We discussed my worsening issues and I decided to start low dose hormone therapy. It literally changed my life. The incontinence totally disappeared, my hair got thicker, I feel better than I have in years and best of all, much to my husband’s delight, I love having sex with him again. We are retired and empty nesters and we make love whenever we’re in the mood, no matter the time of day. Sometimes we don’t even make it out of the living room. Some of our furniture is just the right height for doggy style. We still love the taste of each other too..and sometimes we like spicing things up a bit with mutual masturbation. You must never stop teasing and flirting with each other. Keep on
having fun and being naughty. No matter how long you’ve been together. So my
answer to your question is yes, you are absolutely normal. And it’s normal for
women our age and older to want sex, and to love and desire it as well.
That 48 year old man that got insulted by your flirt is very stupid and has no clue as to what he’s missing out on. Definitely his loss, not yours.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2020): I just recently ended a relationship with a 64 year old separated woman who was incredible in bed. Likely the best I was ever with.
She lived 20 miles away and when I walked in the door, it ws the first thing on her mind. I did not complain as I was divorced for 12 years and had nothing during that time.
I did not perform well the first couple weeks and she had the idea about getting a pump for an erection. It did not work and was painful, so spoke with my dr. for cialis. Once taking that sex got to be a daily thing and always on both our minds. She was willing to do anything! Much more than my ex wife would even try. I was rewarded and it was amazing.
Short answer, no sex with a woman over 60 and older than me was fantastic and any guy who thinks otherwise is a real ass.
You must take a woman for who she is and what she wants and needs.
Things broke up when she decided that we were moving too fast as she was only separated and needed to have time for herself. Boy, do I miss her.
Treat your lady right!
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2018): Oh dear! I’m 58, female & wish I wasn’t so ever ready, Thankfully I actually find it hard to keep up with my other half. At least we’re compatible! :-)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2017): I think it is totally normal. My sex drive is stronger now than it has ever been and I think about sex more now than I ever have. I am single so I don't always have a partner. But I still love sex and masturbate often when I don't have a partner. Still prefer a real man though! Hang in there!
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A
male
reader, Wayne1953  +, writes (7 February 2014):
I agree with the rest. I'm 60 and my sex drive is still strong but unfortunately there are not many women my age to pair up with. As for the fellow that insulted you it's his loss that he passed up the chance to sleep with an older more experienced woman. Carry on with your life and don't let anyone tell you how to run your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2012): i am writing my answer,im the author of the question,to the lady who says she is very confused but i find yr letter to me briliant. english is not my native language so i cant express in good words how much i appreciate yr support. when i asked if its normal i of course knew it is but i am actually wandering why this man reacted as he did and i am sure he found himself insulted by my attention i gave to him as if he has gotten so old that 'grannies' start flerting with him. yes,thats it,he is afraid he is old at 48. of course he is not but fact is that most men have errectile disfunctions even after 40 and usually after 45 and 50. this is due more to their psychology of idolizing the youth that they think they lost once they are over 45 and less to lower levels of testosterone. and the third reason being mens usually poor health due to smoking drinking overeatin and not moving enough. ladies know better than doing these nasty things. this is probably cos we carry the sweet burden of maternity on our shoulders and moters cant afford to waist their health,can they. and the price for being silly is dire and is payed after 45 and on. men pay it by loosing potency something that is dearer to them from their own life. so shallow a purpose of life,while ours is children,their is sex...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 May 2012):
 of course a sex drive at 64 is normal.
my grandparents were married 67 years and in their 80s were still having sex.
I'm 52 and my fiance is 38 and you bet your sweet patootie we go at it... as often as we can...
my stepmom is 79 this year and she wears jeans and is hot to trot... she looks GREAT...
64 is young
don't let some ignorant 48 year old who is repressed clearly have any impact on you! he's wrong! WE ARE RIGHT!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 May 2012):
 Your very welcome, thank you so much for the compliment. Don't give up hope :-)
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (13 May 2012):
 I'm also 64 and still enjoy sex - maybe not with the abilities in my youth, but me and my girlfriend do the best we can do.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 May 2012):
 Go for it ! My dad is 73 and I keep pestering him to get a GF and not give up on things he likes (that would include sex).
My Mom passed away 2 years ago, and I know he loved her and will always miss her, but I WANT him to still live life.
That dude needs to go fly a kite... preferably in a lightning storm... .
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A
male
reader, Carpe Diem +, writes (12 May 2012):
I agree with the other posters that you should not let one unkind person ruin your self-esteem, or your sex life.I am a man who has long found women of your age to be the most attractive. If I wasn't married, I would probably only be dating women around your age or older (I am 55). My wife is still in her 50's, and I find that she is much more attractive to me now than when she was younger, but not as attractive as I expect she will be once she gets into her 60's - and I have a pretty good idea of what she will look like then because I remember her mother.Some men, like your 48 year old, prefer younger women, but many of us don't. Some men are cruel and hurtful, but many of us aren't. You have every right to enjoy your life, including your sex life. So keep doing what you are doing, and ignore the jerks.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 Please don't change your ways because of that 48 year old. He is obviously ignorant and upset that he has been waiting for so long and the only prospect is someone older than him. He doesn't know how young you look, how active you are and immediately all he could think of is the stereotype of a lonely inactive senior. It makes him feel old like nobody wants him anymore. 64 is hardly end of your life. For some people age is a number. There are health magazines advising people never act your age. It is very admirable you do that. Keep your cheers on and never let anyone bring you down. In your country you may have to get to know the person long enough to flirt but in my city flirting with anybody any age is very acceptable.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 May 2012):
 Yes, what you want is completely normal.
And you do not need to apologize for wanting such a very normal outcome.
And full marks to you for visualizing when you masturbate. Very creative and intelligent to do this. Have you also considered harnessing your energy and creativity in other ways as well, in the future?
Do not let anyone try to discourage you. Lots of people in their 70s and 80s still enjoy satisfying relationships where making love is on the agenda.
I am friends with a lovely lady, now retired, and she and her man have just enjoyed their tenth honeymoon together.
Yes they have been married for years (to each other) and both now retired.
And without going into details i believe their tenth honeymoon was very romantic. They arrived back glowing with happiness.
I cannot imagine that any smart sane person could ever think a woman was too old to be loved at 50, 60, 70, 80 plus.
Sometimes the older guy may need the woman to be more understanding or more creative. But i think many of those people who are 40 today are going to expect and look forward to loving relationships (with sex) for decades to come.
Just ignore the man who was no gentleman, of that I am certain. Perhaps for some reason he prefers a less direct approach? Perhaps he is insecure about an assertive woman who knows what she wants? More likely he is just not the man for you.
Take care next time to get to know the man very well, before you make any moves. And think about the man, and how commited he really is yo you, before you allow sex to become part of the relationship.
You still need to protect your heart before you commit to a relationship that includes sex.
Uncommitted (not yet in love) men don't need a reason to have sex, they just need a place to have sex. Their 'love' words are often promises that they have no intention of keeping.
And I do understand why you want a man in your life where there is mutual love. I think what you want is normal all over the world.
A further way to harness all your passion is to develop some interests that use up all your great energy.
You may not always have the man of your dreams in your life, but you can still develop your own skills and abilities. Do you have creative or artistic ability? Can you paint?
There could be an outlook to throw your passion into - and make money from your art.
Are you good at cooking a local speciality that you could sell to others? And good with numbers and good at organizing? Could you through your energy into developing a viable business of your own that you could run.
Think about your skills. You have passion and if you can use your skills wisely you could turn what seems a negative into a positive.
Are there any local craft skills you could learn and prosper from? Don't allow all your energy to dissipate into wishing and hoping for a man in your life.
When in other ways you could really prosper and enjoy life more, with or without a man. And instead introduce other very satisfying adventures for you to enjoy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): Why should sexual desire and activity be the exclusive territory of the young? I am older than you, male, and still very horny - and sexually active!
Ignore the fool that made these insulting comments to you; he doesn't know what he is missing.......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHANK U AUNT HONESTY! I KISSED YR PICTURE!!! U MADE ME ALMOST CRY
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 Your answer is in a statistic that I read recently :
65% of women in their 60s still feel sexual desire and strong interest for sex. But only 36 % are regularly active sexually.
This means two things :- that you are fairly normal. Sexual desire DOES decrease in time , but it's a sloooow process, some frisky gals may have time to be dead BEFORE they loose all their libido.
And, that older women aren't considered sexually attractive and they have much more trouble than younger women to find a new sexual partner if they loose theirs because of death or divorce.
It is what it is. It may be all cultural, all biological, half and half, I don't know. It may be not fair - but, that's the way it goes. Some younger men obviously won't have a problem with age, at any age , and will be pleased or flattered by receiving your attentions. But it's a " niche " section of population, a wide majority will feel puzzled or disturbed or irritated being approached by someone they deem totally unacceptable and unattractive, maybe even repulsive, as a sexual partner.
Conclusion : don't give up to your sex life and sex desires, but hit on guys much closer to your age -or posting on admittedly " cougar " sites.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 May 2012):
Look please do not let this one man put you off. At the end of the day he was just ignorant towards you. You are right it is perfectly normal to want to have love and sex no matter what age you are. Age is just a number and if you still have your libido then that is fantastic. Some man will be lucky to have you. Don't let this man put you down, he was just ignorant and rude to you. Some men are like that as am sure you know, just don't let him get to you and don't give up on finding a man. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 May 2012):
 We read in the media that STD's and HIV infections have gotten skewed to those in OUR age group.... so there's GOT to be SOME "fooling around" going on!!!!!
Of course it's normal to want to experience love/warmth/intimacy/even, SEX!!! The old cliche "use it or lose it" also applies....
Sooo, give the matter not another thought... and carry on your life, AND include all that you wish and want!!!
P.S. That 48-year-old guy was both stupid AND a jerk....
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