A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI have an on and off relationship with my bf for past 4 years. He always verbally abuses me, belittles me, ignores me for long period of time, make sure my esteem always stays all time low....Coming to the current happenings, he was nice to me for past 2 weeks, not sure y but he was very nice. He went for a work trip, called me everyday, said bought me gifts, sent me cute msgs... I asked him whether he is gonna change once he is back, said he will remain as he is now and will be always nice to me and treat me with respect, blah blah....So he came back from his work trip yesterday and called me saying he reached safely and planned to meet today. Suddenly yesterday he blocked me in fb and other text messengers, not sure y, when i tried to reach him, he is not picking up. I checked from my friends phone and he is active in all sites, just blocked me alone. BTW he picked up when i called him from my friends number.Like an idiot i fell for him previous week again, actually i was waiting to dump him once he is back from his trip and suddenly he was no nice, like a fool i fell for him again. Here i am heartbroken and depressed and crying like hell again. Pls help me, what should i do now. PS - He doesnt know that i am gonna break up with him, i didnt give any clues and even my friends didnt know and we are living in separate aparments, we moved in together few months back, since i had long commute to office, i had to move back to my apartment
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depressed, heartbroken, moved in, period, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2014): Are you ok?? Xx
A
female
reader, Martine  +, writes (25 September 2014):
 I was in exactly the sane situation as you for three long years. He's a nasty manupulative bully. You really must gather the support of freinds and family and cut all contact. Don't take any calls or respond to him no matter what he says, as he will try every trick in the book to get you going again once you stop paying him attention. He's devious. You may suffer for sometime, but will be glad you did leave and cut him off in the long run. Situations like yours can go on for years. Please don't let it.you have got to leave him if you want any chance of hapiness. I did it. So can you.x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 September 2014):
 So start TRUSTING in yourself and your gut. YOU wanted to break up because he is an abusive manipulative jerk, JUSt because he was nice for two weeks doesn't mean he has changed.
People don't flip a switch and be someone they are not, and you know this.
Consider the relationship OVER. REMOVE him from your Social sites and block him, same with his number and e-mail. LET him go. And then take some time to think why you were SO willing to take back a man who treated you like that?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): What you are describing in a cycle of abuse. He abuses you, then sweetens you back up, then goes back to being abusive. His behaviour will go get worse, it is all about control for him. Get out of this relationship....make sure you tell family/friends of your intention to leave him and make sure you keep yourself safe.... leaving an abusive partner is sometimes a risky time for women where the abuse may escalate.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Dump anyone that is verbally abusive 'cause the next step on the abuse ladder is physical abuse.git while the gittn is good.
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A
female
reader, Katie-Lynn +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Oh my, I'm sorry this is happening to you. He clearly was acting nice all of a sudden to help himself from feeling guilty for treating you this way,make sure you don't try leaving and/or he can keep you interested while he's looking around so you don't get suspicious but that's just me. Look. No man should ever make you feel like you first explained in the intro. Relationships give support and 'good' feelings. Do you want this for yourself? Course not, that's why you're here. I suggest you make ir clear that you two woyld not be together anymore to find a man who knows how to 'truly' treat a good woman. Hope this helps and best of luck to ya.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): "Pls help me, what should i do now."You need counseling to break the cycle of dysfunction and verbal abuse at the hands of a master controller and manipulator. "PS - He doesnt know that i am gonna break up with him . . ."Don't kid yourself, without outside help you're not going anywhere because he knows exactly how to keep you under his thumb by playing to your neediness and insecurity and vanity and ego. He'll keep on telling you what you want to hear, and you'll keep on believing his words instead of his actions. You need professional help to resolve the long-term deep-seated issues that are subconsciously motivating and driving your behavior. A trained neutral third-party can provide the knowledge and support you need to recognize the tactics he keeps using against you and learn how to anticipate and counter them in order to get him out of our life for good. Best wishes.
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