A
male
age
30-35,
*nickx
writes:Its me again. This one will be short and sweet i promise, no 1000 word questions this time.Background-----------------------6 mos ago I had this little crush on a girl, except my vulgar best friend (unintentionally) complicated things by making sexual comments whenever the 3 of us were together. She apparently got offended and stopped talking to me.Since then ive been in 2 brief relationships, both have ended up badly. Girl 1 cheated on me with a 24yr old; girl 2 told me after we were dating that she didn’t want a boyfriend, only to have a new one the next week.While thinking the other day about where I was screwing up, the best friend of girl 2 texted me and asked me out for the second time. I politely told her no, that I didn’t see us dating, and what she said next kinda struck something in me and I got it and I saw where I was screwing up. She said I really like you and I think that I should fight for something I feel so strongly about.When I told her I think she really shouldn’t because she’ll end up hurting herself she replied. I know. But im willing to get hurt.Anyways, that made a whole lot of sense to me cuz im a real easy going guy. You tell me something, as long as it doesn’t go against my morals or values ill go with it, no questions. When a girl seems like they aren’t interested, I kinda just let it go and move on, no questions.I realized at that moment that girl from 6 months ago, I was willing to do that for. I was willing to get hurt and fight for her.So today was the first time in six months that I talked to this girl, with the intent of letting her know im interested. i told her i wanna make everything up for what happened last year. I wanna try to atleast talk to her again. I complimented her and told her I wanted to make things right.She replied i dont really know what to say. But i kinda like another guy right now. Im sorry.The old me at this point would have given up and moved on, but im willing to do anything for her. SO...Question----------------------------...Obviously you cant tell me exactly what to do, but i took her response as, im available, im just more interested in someone else, which is reasonable seeing as we havent talked in 6 mos.She's very outdoorsy, if that helps (loves her horses)She's 15, im 16 (can get my license in 2 weeks, probably wont for atleast a month)Female opinion would be really appreciated. If, hypothetically, you were in this situation, what would spark your attention from the guy in my postion? Or guys what would you do?For me, im looking at anything. im sure ill have my ideas as my own, i just dont know what direction ill approach it from. Funny guy? Romantic? Best friend? idk. i just dont want to come off as the creepy ex that she hasnt talked to forever and now wants a relationship with her again!!!!So please and thank you!
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (11 November 2009):
xnickx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks! yeah it does help a little. I already made the fact that im interested and not going to bug her clear via text. Honestly, id find a card a little creepish.
And at this point its too early for me to tell if theres anything i could do to get her attention, cuz she may have changed in those 6 mos.
And actually i like your point about stopping contact. except contact is still very little... Since i am worried about not being obnoxious.
This is all kinda very new as i've never had to "chase" the girl. i guess ive been pretty lucky. I find it kinda ironic that i could have half the other girls in the school, yet i pick her... oh well. Its not like im a jerk off either. im a nice guy, shes a nice girl. oh well.
Thank you so much =)
nick
A
female
reader, LadyCorsair +, writes (10 November 2009):
 All I can say to you is think how the girl you don't want to date feels. What could she do to possibly win you over? Maybe there's nothing that would make you want to be with her, and you've got to consider that maybe your crush feels this way too about you?
Fighting for someone can often come across as a bit creepy if you're doing it wrong! If it were me, I would want you to send a card or something, just saying "I'm always here for you, and my heart is yours. However, out of respect for you, I won't bother/bug you... just know I am here..." Something like that. It makes your intentions clear, but also gives her the freedom to decide. If a girl has the same guy breathing down her neck and trying to contact her all the time, they tend to distance themselves automatically. For example, if this girl who likes you was to text and email you constantly, it's doubtful that it would change your mind about her, because there's no challenge. If she suddenly stopped contacting you... wouldn't you wonder what had happened and maybe make the effort to contact her and make sure she's okay?
These are just my thoughts on the situation, but that's a girls insight for you. I hope that helps you a bit.
Lady Corsair xxx
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