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I told him some of my past, his face said it all, Im also insecure, How can I get past all this with this fab guy!?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 28 March 2007)
A female Canada age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi,

i am with this amazing guy who means the world to me, and he is truely the best thing that has ever happened to me ( relationship wise ), we get along so well and i have always told him everything about me and my past, even the fact that i have engaged once in a 3-some with my ex and another guy ( what the hell was i thinking ?? ), his face told me the story about what went on inside him hearing that from me though he said its ok since its the past, but it just crush me to bits seeing someone get so much pain for my stupid actions before, he is like the perfect guy any girl can have and to add to it he is 5 years younger to me and still a virgin at 21, though i dunno how he saved himself cause he is possibly sexier than brad pitt ( not just to me, even all my female friend think so too ), i just wanna clear up my mind about all this but i know if i try to talk about it to him again it will be very painfull to him. and moreover, i am getting so damn jealous when we go out and other women keep fucking him with their eyes! how do i get over all this? please help

View related questions: crush, engaged, insecure, jealous, my ex, still a virgin

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A male reader, Blue Rat United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2007):

You haven't done anything wrong. You've been completely honest with him. Okay, so he might not have enjoyed what you told him but at least he knows you're not hiding anything and that he has a partner who is completely truthful with him. That's a huge plus and once he gets over the hurt/shock/jealousy, I think he'll appreciate you all the more.

You were alive, you had a life before you met him. You lived a little. So what? You haven't been unfaithful to him - he wasn't your boyfriend then. I'm afraid most of us guys can be just a little resentful and jealous if we find out our current partner has a more, shall we say interesting, sexual past than ourselves. That's just the way we're made.

You've nothing to be ashamed of so just let him get over it in his own time.

As for other girls fucking him with their eyes? Enjoy the positive aspect. It means you have a great looking and desirable guy who's with you, not them. Let them look. That's all their getting after all.

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A female reader, Reebe United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2007):

Reebe agony auntHello

firstly if this guy is as good as you think then you need to tread very carefully.

He is feeling like this because he obviously doesn't like to think that you have ever had sex with anyone before, as do most men, the fact that you had a 3sum would make him think you were very experianced, and even if you are, he doesn't want you to be.

He may be feeling insecure because he is a virgin and thinks he doesn't know how to please you, take things slow with him and ask him if he wants to talk about the things you said the other night. I suspect most of it is male pride and the fact he wants you to think he's amazing.

Try not to be jealous with other women at the end of the day he's a good looking guy and women are bound to look, but remember he's with you and that's his choice.

Take things slow and build up his confidence a little in the bedroom department, tell him what a great kisser he is and how he makes you feel when he does things to you.

Good Luck I hope this works out.

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