A
female
age
41-50,
*uiltygirl
writes:OMG!... I need help ASAP!... I can't believe im such a "b" !!! =(... I have a bf... im 23 he is 28... we have almost 4 years dating... I met him here in this country where I live now 5 years ago. Last year I got a phone call from a good friend from my country telling me that he was working in US. I felt so excited to hear that cuz he i liked him a lot when I was in my country!!! I was inlove with this guy!!! over 8 years felling inlove but I moved and nothing else happened... obviously he didnt like me! he liked me as a friend n that was all.... then, when he came to US to work, he got a empl.contract in the same city I live...... I was So excited! n I couldnt wait to see him again!!!!... finally that day came!!!! n I saw him...=(... and we kissed that day!!! was amazing!!! I finally could feel his lips! =,( and was the best kiss ever!!!... that day was the beginning of my sweet nightmare! I felt so bad for what I did to my BF!!! i love my bf... but that other guy was always in my mind n I couldn't deny a kiss!!!.....after that day... I thought I won't see my "platonic love" again.. but I did... and we kissed again.. and again.. n again.. we meet many times and everytime we see eachother...we kissed!!! n I felt inlove of him and his kisses too!!.. . I had to drive 1 hr to see him.... and that was ok for me.. n the love I had for my current BF was ending!... but at the same time I couldnt live without him!!!.....=(... my platonic love had to leave US and go back to my country ffor few months... that period of time was sad momnts for me... cuz even if I was with my BF... I was thinking on my other love!=(... everyday... everynite...everymomnt =(... I went to my country for vacations and he was there... n guess what..??? we met and we kissed again... and again and again....best kisses ever!! omg ...=(... we kissed and we had sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bst momnt ever too!!!!!!!.... I felt so bad again!!! but I didnt regret! I liked this guy for over 8 years...to kiss him was a dream and to make love with him was only a fantasy that I always had on mind since I was 16. n finally I had him in my arms... kissing all over my body, hugging me!!! =(... I went back to US n I had no face to show to my BF... I decided to finish the relation... but he is so inlove with me.......... I told him we had to finish cuz I wanted a time for myself but damn!!!... he got sick, lost weight, cried a lot!!! n we had to get back together!!!!.. he is the most lovebly person now... but that's not all for me.. i still thinking in my "platonic love now turned to.." my sweet real nightmare""... he came back to US to work again and there we go all over again.... we met... we kissed and we made love again.... and again.. and again... !!! n I still dating my BF... I now im a huge "B" ... but what can I do??? I cant live without my BF!!! is 5 years 2gether!!!! i know is not ok to cheat on him... but I cant deny my"sweet real nightmare"... =(!!!! I need help....!! asap!!! I cant break up my current relationship cuz he loves me alot... I love him... but Im confused... I dunno if I love him as a couple of as a special person!!!and im afraid of telling him that! I did it once.. and he got sick.. i dun want him to fell like that again! =(.. and my platonic love... I dunno if he has another girl or not.. he never told me that he loves me!!!! and I got some doubts about another girl in his life... I dunno... but I CANT STOP driving 1 hr just to see him.. kiss him and make love with him! =(... everytime we meet.. we have sex!!!!! and we both love it!!!!!! we cant stop that!!!!! I like him A LOT!!! I dunno what he thinks about me... the only think he told by email is that he miss me when we dun meet !! and that im an special person for him..... is he a player??? I dunno!!!! NEED HELP and advices pleasseeee.. my BF was jealous of this guy... but i could handle that.!! he thinks now im the bst gf ever!... im perfect... and he thinks he is the only person i had sex with!... that was truth! until I went to my country for vacation... !!! need help pleaseee!=(
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get back together, jealous, kissing, period, player Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): i think the best thing for you to do is to choose one guy because u might jus loose both. your bf loves you. the other guy is probably using u since u are the only one to remind him of his country,could be same with u. ask yourself why he didnt notice you in all those 8 years. he might be just lonely. if i were you i would stick to my bf and stop cheatin on him. all da best
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2008): I don't know why you're even asking for help. It's like you don't really want it, you just want to brag about your affair. Not to sound like a complete jerk but you remind me of a little kid when I read this. I'm convinced you're more addicted to excitement of cheating on you're boyfriend than you are anything else. Both of these men seem like they'd mean nothing to you without the other one. You won't break up with your "BF" because he's a relationship and you won't stop seeing the other guy because he's the sex, the excitement. Believe me, if you ended up dating the other guy you'd be bored, and neither of you could ever trust one another. So either except that you're a player, because you pretty much are, or just leave your BF already. How would you feel if he had another girl? If you don't care, than that's enough to let you know that you're not ready for a relationship. And yes, he probably is playing you, because I don't know too many "good" guys that have secret sex with taken females.
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A
male
reader, Rhandy  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 it that case you must follow your heart, whose the one that you need most, that can understand you and love you faithfully, what matter most is that be sure that you love that person youre whom to be with and not only for sex because sex may fade away but not love, have u got this idea.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (20 July 2008):
 I think you already know the answer to this.
You are just wanting someone to give you an easy way out.
The problem is, there is no easy way out of this.
If you are so madly in love with this other guy, you are going to hurt the guy you are with more than if you just tell him that you don't love him as you thought you did.
It is unfair of you to cheat on him and keep him thinking that you are "Little miss trustworthy."
You need to do the right thing.
Take a good long hard look at this situation you have put yourself in and make a choice. Doc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you are risking all the happiness and love you have with your boyfriend for the guy you have been sleeping with. If that isn't enough to make you stop then I don't think anyone can help you. You have to want to stop.You don't really seem apologetic for your actions since you go on in your post about how great the sex is with this other man. It sounds like you are more worried about getting caught eventually because yes, it will happen eventually.I also hate to say the following, but if you decide to end this affair, your boyfriend has the right to know the truth. You may not think so but you have betrayed his trust and the purity of your love. If you want to rebuild your relationship and regain pride in yourself it will have to start with honesty.best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): Well, I didn't read your post (who could get through that?), but please - you "can't" stop? What nonsense. You're an adult! Grow the hell up and take responsibility for your own actions. It's not that you can't stop - it's that you're selfish and don't want to.
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