A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, I need help as my god mother spirals out of control! My godmother and my parents have know each since they were 14. My mum and dad were dating and my godmother and her partner were dating. My dad and her husband were best man for each other's weddings and we've grown up with there children like siblings and gone on holiday every year with each other until we hit around 15. They have four children and there's only me and my sister. We stopped going on holiday with them due to my parents not liking there changing family morals. There children have no respect for there mothers and constantly bully her and degrade her in public. They have no respect for there home or belongings and leave there mum to do it all. There father is happy with this and almost encourages there behaviour as he also treats my Godmum like this. Anyway the two sets of parents became friends with another group of couples. The one couple especially, however the wife was a bit of an alcohol and started dragging not only my mum but my Godmum into this by turning up late afternoon with bottles of wine and drinking with them. It became a problem that my family unit addressed as my mum was drunk 3/4 times a week and my mum soon stopped drinking with this lady. So she started going to my godmothers. This was about 4 years ago and he has now got worse. To the point my Godmum is now a very reliant alcoholic. Her father, mother and disabled sister tragically passed away last year in a car accident making her more dependant but nobody realised until recently. Her husband has been having an affair with a 20 year old girl and buying her boxes of wine, so she drinks until she passed out and didn't realise he wasn't at home with her. He recently ended there marriage of 29 years and moved out. She has crashed her car 3 time due to drink driving and twice her eldest daughter has covered for Her when the police attended and said she was the driver. She's hiding wine In water bottles, her car and cake garden. Her children no long want to know but the eldest has confiscated all of her credit cards due to her purchasing wine in excess. She recently drank two bottles of wine whilst walking the dog in the morning and fell over and broke her nose. She is a mess. Her husband does not care and the children are continuing to belittle her, not help her around and house and put her down. She is spiralling out of control and won't come to visit anybody anymore due to her alcoholic state and as my parents won't let her drink wine in there company she has cut all contact. It's a sad situation as I feel her family contributed to this greatly and now have all up and left her now she's in this state. What can we do as friends and god children to help her? She won't admitt she has a problem and won't contact us or visit us.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 March 2014):
 You should join Al-anon and alateen... it's an organization for folks who's lives are impacted by alcoholics.
She is still in the denial of a problem stage and this could go on for a long time. Her children bailing her out and trying to "save her" and "help her" are just making it worse for her as she does not have to answer to anyone for her actions.
Until she admits to herself there is a problem and she seeks help on her own there is nothing you can do.
A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (13 March 2014):
 What you can do is find out about support groups for friends and family of alcoholics. They will give you tips on how to best manage this situation.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2014): Nothing, you can't help a person who won't admit they have a problem nor wants help for it. Especially when they've cut off contact.
OP it's a sad part of life that you'll face again and again. Sometimes you just have to distance yourself from people physically and emotionally so they don't drag you down with them. Don't hang around and watch this woman slowly kill herself, she's a grown woman making her own choices and it's up to her family to help her, if she asks.
If she wants to rot then let her, you can't do anything so there's no point in trying. Just be glad you don't have to suffer the same way, your mother very nearly went down the same path.
It happens, OP, just promise yourself if she does come looking for help you'll give it a shot. Other than that, she's on her own so forgive my bluntness, just let her rot.
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