A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.So... where to start. About a year ago, I met a girl online, and we started talking via IM. We grew closer and closer as the conversations got more frequent, to a point where we'd talk for hours on end every single day. It was obvious to both of us that we're developing feeling for each other, and about three months in, I finally confessed that I'm in love with her. She said she's romantically attached to me as well, she's just not sure if the L word is the right term to use, but honestly, I didn't care - we were having such a great time together.We were extremely shy, especially as this was the first real relationship we both ever had (despite being over 18), and we live in different cities, so it took some time, but we finally met last November. I was really stressed, but we ended up having a really good time. I felt on top of the world.Problems started soon after, when she came under immense pressure from her workplace, and we could barely find the time to talk, let alone meet again. She started feeling that I'm pressuring her as well, and that I'm inconsiderate of her situation. I tried to change that, but she just couldn't shake off that feeling. She gradually grew colder, to a point where she said she doesn't feel the same way anymore. She wanted to end things with me, but after a lot of persuasion she agreed to give me a second chance. I did everything in my power to not screw it up this time - I was as thoughtful and understanding as I could, but after more than a month, she said it's just not it for her, although she really appreciated my efforts. She says I'm still very important to her, and she would like me to remain a part of her life. She wants me to take some time, and decide if I want us to remain friends or part ways completely.I'm totally at a loss here, I love her so much. I'm convinced that no other girl could possibly make me feel this way, and no other guy would ever care for her like I do - we're that suited for each other. I just can't give up on her.I've already made my feelings very clear to her, but to no avail. She doesn't want to continue this way.What should I tell her? What's my best chance of winning her back?I'm really sorry for writing so much, I'm just at an emotional turmoil here. Really looking forward to your advice.Thanks in advance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright, I'll try it. Really hope I can stand the pain and refrain from contacting her.Thanks a lot for your help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): again, very similar to my situation. My ex is very stubborn and i feel like he will probably not come back. Although the no contact rule is working, he has began to text me out of the blue, but nothing more just general chit chat.I Knoow everyone says it and you think "yeh yeh i dont feel like it tho" but getting out with your friends and trying to take your mind off the situation really does help. Talking it out and reasoning with yourself does aswell.Try not to contact her. Appear to move on with your life no matter how terrible you still feel. Being desperate is unattractive. I made that mistake the first few days and tried begging him back- it made him run further. He text me today and said how are you? I said im going great thanks and you (Im not im a mess!) and he goes oh okay...glad to hear your going well. he seemed suprised. Try be strong, even for yourself. Hopefully she will realise in time she misses you and will contact you.All the best
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, Rainer. I hope things work out with your boyfriend too.
The problem is that she can be quite stubborn at times, and I'm just terrified that I'll never hear from her again if I choose to cut all ties with her... this is frustrating.
Any more ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2011): HelloI feel as though I may be in a similar situation as you here.My bf broke up with me and I am so in love with him I feel like my heart is bleeding.The best advice I can come up with (although not proven yet) is give her space. Let her sort herself out and give her time to miss you.Everyone tells me to not contact my bf and leave him to sort himself out and maybe he will realise he misses me and come back. I pray this may work, it's the best advice I've got.If not, time does heal - I know it doesnt feel like it now.Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
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