A
male
age
41-50,
*nduso
writes:i have an ex girlfriend who is already married and has a baby . she got pregnant before she married . she told me she doint like the boy who impregnanted her and asked me if i coud still marry her if she gave birth. i agreed but later requested her to abort , she declined. she told me trhat she dint want that man because he was a player. soon after she wrote to me that she was marrying that man , much she was not ready to be married by him.i wa nted to marry her but she insted that i be her man outside marriage[not thati provide for] nway i gave up on her but she still writes texts am not sure about her intetions. when i called once she told she loves her family. i once again stoped writind. she wrote asking me that we should just get off each other like that, since we were in love once. her messages are hard to understand but i pick she is not doing well well with her husband and she wants me back. i i told her so and she said that she loves her family. i love this girl so much. anything i can do to get her back?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Dude, walk away. Do you really think she would treat you any better than she is currently treating her husband, if you were her new husband? You can do better than this.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 Hey she is married and wants the best of both worlds she wants you for the fun and her husband to support her, you need to tell her if she wants you then she needs to leave her husband and be with you only, and if she can not do that then you need to move on and have no more contact with her or you will end up getting hurt.
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (27 June 2007):
 I think she's very scared about being alone, and very confused about what she wants. She got involved with a guy who turned out to be a disappointment, but made the colossial mistake of not using birth control so now she is forever tied to this man through the child she is carrying. Now that she's married, I think it would best that you not assume the role of being her back up man. She's made choices, there are now consequences (and a childs to think about). You don't have to burn any bridges with her, but basically make yourself unavailable to anything more than the occasional e-mail or joke you want to forward to her that might make brighten her day. She needs to focus on her marriage and the birth of her child. If she later gets a divorce, and you still have feelings for her, when and if that happens, you can decide if you want to pursue a relationship with her and help her raise the other man's child. Good luck.
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