A
female
age
26-29,
*ariamk
writes:Okay, so I've been with my boyfriend for about 4months, I'm 18 and so is he. He was my first everything. I'm completely in Love with him, and he tells me he's in love with me. He's the best ever and he comes everyday to spend time with me. We text each other through out the whole day, but on nights I really miss him and I want him to call me. And he has never called me. I asked him to, we even got into an argument over it. Yea I know that was dumb. But I just want to know why he hasn't. What should I do? He tells me he would do anything for me, and he has. Except calling me. And it really bugs me. Am I just being selfish? Help.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 January 2013):
 He does not call you at night because he has already seen you during the day and been texting with you all day, and the same will happen tomorrow, so he is enjoying a quiet pause to sleep, read, watch TV,etc.etc.- recharge his batteries in whatever way he is used to, without the pressure of having another person, no matter how much loved or lovable, in his mental and emotional space.
Let him be, it's not healthy to be as needy as you are, you should be able too to think about something that's not your relationship for a few hours a day, plus you risk in time to make him tired of your clinginess.
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (5 January 2013):
 You asked him why he doesn't call you at night. What was his answer?
It's normal to think of him at night time and miss him, because you love him, but think of it from his point of view. He's probably studying or sleeping.
I think he shows you enough attention during the day that you don't need to worry about whether or not he loves you. He does. Let him have a little bit of space.
Don't let your whole world revolve around him. If you're at a loose end in the evening, why not call a friend?
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (4 January 2013):
Yes you’re being selfish. Maybe he doesn’t call you at night because he’s sleeping. That’s what people generally do at night. Isn’t attention throughout the day enough? At best you’ve got some insecurities whose cause you need to get to the bottom of, at worst you’re very immature with a lot of growing up to do. You say he does everything for you yet you’re complaining about one request that’s not reasonable anyway on which he doesn’t deliver. And where’s your effort? I’d be interested to know whether there is any reason why you couldn’t go and see him, or call him. Why does he come to you every day? It seems he puts in all the effort and it’s not appreciated.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2013): Considering that this is your first real relationship don't beat yourself up too much. No you're not being selfish but you are being too needy and clingy. He texts you throughout the day and also see you everyday. You are asking for a bit too much. You don't want to come across as having no life of you're own. Chill out and relax and busy yourself even if its just to watch TV catch up on some sleep. Wish you the best.
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