A
female
age
36-40,
*aryt9183
writes:been dating my boyfriend for the past 2 and a half years.....i am 25 and he is 37 and has 3 children never been married ... i been in love with him and had the biggest crush on him since i was a teenager for 6 years before we ever even spoke.... he eneded up being nothing what i thought he would be, he was loud rude obnoxious had a lot of baggage but i excepted him i think the real reason i stayed with him was the image i had of him in my mind of who i thought he was for those 6 years that i liked him.. we had sex twice in th epast year.... im extremely attractive i get a lot of mens attention.... i cry sometimes because it makes me feel so insecure and i start doubting myself...he'll hold my hand he'll take care of me if im sick we always spend time with his family and kids but as soon as i touch him he pulls me away...he'll always start a fight with me over anything and hurt me....im crying writing this right now because it hurts so much to feel rejected by someone your madly in love with. i wake up in the morning and cry over him...the thought of him being with some other woman drives me crazy and makes me severly depressed sinc ei been with him i doubted myself a lot...i havent felt beautiful or wanted in so long.... i had sex with him in august 2008 and february 2009... somebody please help me and tell me what should i do...im so desperate....i cant leave him i dont think i can handle it. i tried to so many times changed my number 4 times but could never go more than 3 days without talking to him..and even if i do leave him im always going to doubt myself and feel insecure with any man...i dont think ill ever truly feel wanted i love him too much even have his name tattoos on me...any advice will help thanks so much
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (6 June 2009):
 I'm so sorry that you ended up in this situation but I will be brutally honest with you:You're in love with an image, not your boyfriend. You're dating a man who doesn't want to touch you, who makes you cry, who is rude, who starts fights with you for no reason. You accept all this because you're insecure and you don't want to admit that you were wrong for having that six-year crush. Misery will keep you constant company until you decide for yourself that you want a change. You can do better. You can find someone who makes you happy.Go see a professional counselor and work on your insecurities. Once you learn to love yourself you will see him for the man he really is and you will find the strength you need to let go and start living your life.Good luck.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (6 June 2009):
 Sweetheart, i know your hurting here and its obvious that you truely love him but he doesn't really love you, because he is treating you very shabbily.You said you only had sex twice within 6 months with him and when you try to touch him or show any intimacy, your boyfriend pulls away and gets aggressive. This man has serious issues here and you cant be his psychiatrist....You are worth more then that...if he had any feelings or love for you then he wouldn't treat you like this.This man is basically using you, why he doesn't call it a day, i dont know....But you need to walk away now, he is seriously making you depressed, you will have no self confidence or self esteem left if you stay with this guy....he's bad news. There will be a man out there for you who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve, dont settle for 2nd best because while your hanging around him he will continue to emotionally abuse you. Get out now....you will get over him....Trust me.
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