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I have feelings for the boy I am texting and having sex with

Tagged as: Crushes, Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 March 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2016)
A age 18-21, anonymous writes:

The past 2 month I've been texting and sleeping with a guy and recently found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. We have spoke about it and argued a lot over the past few days due to him telling all of his friends after me repeatedly asking and telling him not too! I feel so stupid for being in this situation in the first place and have been really down and upset and he has just not made the situation any better for me at all. I feel like everyone is laughing at me and I'm so paranoid about everything. As I am only 18 and had a long hard think about my decision , We as 2 young people, (he is 20) have decided to get a termination. And have an appointment on the 13th April. He has said he will come with me and he is there for me when or if I need anything and I do appreciate that.

We have never give ourselves a title that we are together or "seeing eachother" , but thinking about it I actually really really like him. I don't know if it's because I'm feeling the way I am , vulnerable or hurt. But I feel like if I tell him he won't feel the same then I'll feel like an even bigger idiot than I already do! It's really playing on my mind I have feelings for this boy I just don't know what to do, say or how to say it. I've also heard through mutual friends that he took a girl home whilst he was texting me a couple of weeks ago. Which made me angry and disheartened. What do I do I literally honestly do not know ???

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (31 March 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntPlease honey talk to your parents. Or a family member. I know this is scary. But a termination is a huge decision and one you don't want to take lightly. The thing is at the end of the day their is a baby growing inside you, and I would hate for you to regret your decision and spend the rest of your life hating yourself. You need to talk to a trusting adult.

This guy is not to be trusted, you asked him not to tell anybody and he did. He is taking girls home therefore I feel that you are only a bit of fun for him, he says he will support you probably because he wants you to get rid of his baby. Who knows who else he has knocked up? Plus I think you should get yourself checked out for STI's. We all make mistakes sweetie, but please talk to your parents, or someone you are close to who can give you some advice and make sure you are doing the right thing.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2016):

I wouldn't involve this guy any more. He doesn't want to commit to you, otherwise he wouldn't be taking other girls home.

He's gone and told people when you clearly asked him not to. That's a massive act of disrespect. I wouldn't want his help on the day if I were you, I would go alone and take up any offer of professional support and cut all contact with him.

Your hormones will already be changing and naturally you want to feel safe and secure with the guy you had this connection with. But he's not that guy, he's not long term bf material as if he was you 2 would already be dating/bf and gf/whatever and you wouldn't be hearing that he takes other girls home. Honestly if it were me I would go alone if the guy was as you describe. He won't get it anyway, he wouldn't get how upsetting it could be for you and if you want someone there you'd be better off with you mum or a very best friend you could trust not to gossip about you. Do you really want that man there when he couldn't even respect your choice to not tell anyone? I know you don't want to tell your parents, but perhaps just your mum and she could come with you? You've made your mind up (and it truly sounds like the best option for you at this time) and mums would hate to know you'd gone through this alone.

Forget the guy, seriously speak to your mum if you can because mums just want to be there for their kids. It doesn't matter how old you get you're still their child and after being surprised I'm sure any mother would just want to support their daughter through what could be a lonely time x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm defiantly not ready for this type of commitment and neither is he. So I feel the decision I have made is the righ thing to do. I have not discussed this with my parents I can not bring myself to tell them.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (31 March 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntHi, sorry to hear that you are going through a very difficult time. I have a link for you here: https://www.mariestopes.org.uk

He may or may not be ready to be a father or a support to someone he’s impregnated.

I think you need to leave him out of the planning process and do what is best for your physical and emotional well-being, as he’s demonstrated that he’s not exactly reliable in that context.

Have you discussed this with your parents?

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A female reader, debsray United States +, writes (31 March 2016):

Get an abortion. I did when I was in a similar situation at 19. I had a low-paying job, lived with my parents and was going to college. I have never regretted that decision.

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