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I have feelings for a recently married woman.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 November 2017) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, *urrel writes:

I recently realized i have feelings for a woman who has not long been married, it is at the point that i can't think of anything else, i'm not sure if she has picked up on this by my body language, i am dying to tell her how i feel but..i can't think of what the ramifications would be.

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A female reader, Goldenheartbeat United States +, writes (11 November 2017):

I totally agree with Aunt honesty! In addition always keep in mind that a married person is considered off the market.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 November 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWow, how embarrassing that would be for her. You would put her in a situation where she would have to cut off contact with you because she would feel uncomfortable with you.

I would advise keeping way from her until you have managed to get over your crush and concentrating your efforts on going out, having fun with friends and, hopefully, meeting someone who is available.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2017):

A recently married woman?

Not a prayer.

I suggest you move right along or risk making a fool out of yourself and having her avoid you permanently.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 November 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHonestly there is no point even wondering what would happen if you told her. You need to put yourself in her husband shoes, if you where married how would you feel about some man hitting on your wife? Am guessing she loves him if she married him so the best thing that you can do is stay well clear from her and accept that she is taken.

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A male reader, Billy Bathgate United States +, writes (9 November 2017):

Do you think that if you tell her how you feel she is going to divorce her husband to be with you?

There is nothing to be gained from telling a newlywed woman that you are in love with her.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (9 November 2017):

Garbo agony auntCertain things, after certain events, become off limits. This is one of them. That woman is off limits for you no matter what you feel. Instead of telling her I'd suggest working on yourself to get her off your mind.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 November 2017):

Honeypie agony auntThis won't end well for you.

She will SHUN and AVOID you if you do (though maybe THAT is for the best).

I think YOU need to step back and away from her. Maybe part of the attraction is that she is UNAVAILABLE? That way YOU don't have to find yourself a woman who CAN be with you. You don't have to deal with making a relationship work.

If she is recently married (even if she had been married for ages) it's STILL not OK to do this to her.

YOU are having a crush. It happens. Doesn't mean you need to spill the beans. This is a ONE sided attraction or infatuation. You need to GET a grip and leave it be.

And you ARE old enough to understand all this. You know what to do. Leave her be. If you want a woman in your life, find yourself a SINGLE one.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 November 2017):

CindyCares agony aunt They would be unpleasant.

If she got married recently, we can reasonably assume that she is still committed to her marriage and no sexual boredom / sentimental wear-and-tear has even had time to set in.

Plus you talk about your body Language and " feelings " but not about hers: i.e. you do not say that you have noticed any hint or glimpse that she may be even remotely interested, or at least flattered by your attentions.

I'd keep my mouth shut. You may see yourself as some great romantic figure , but in practice what you may say would come out as creepy , conceited or downright irksome.

A married woman- and recently married too- does NOT enjoy receiving love proffers from guys ( unless of course she is already tired of her husband and eager of cheating on him )- she thinks that her married status should be enough to shield her precisely from this kind of unwanted male attentions ( and that is / should be precisely one of the perks of being married:) . So, unless SHE gave you green light by flirting heavily and such, she would meet your revelation with contempt, annoyance, anger, ..indiffrence at best... or a furious, belligerant husband confronting you at worst.

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