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I have a crush on her, but is she just being nice?

Tagged as: Crushes, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 May 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:


So I am a lady who dates ladies. I have this amazingly gorgeous co-worker who isn't on my team but in my department and sits around the hallway from me. I honestly have no idea if she's straight/gay/bi, in a relationship, etc. She doesn't have any pictures or anything on her desk indicating anything of the sort and I haven't heard her mention anything about a significant other.

The other day she came to speak at our team meeting and sat next to me. We were kind of laughing a lot and joking around. She later came to my desk and told me I had a really cute laugh and tried to tell me stupid jokes so that I'd laugh again and she could hear it.

Is this some sort of flirtation or is she just being nice? We normally hadn't spoken that much beforehand/aren't that close. I am insanely attracted to her and I'm sure my face was 50 shades of red after she said that.

Anyways, am I reading too into this? Thoughts are appreciated.

View related questions: co-worker, crush, flirt

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A female reader, MaskOn United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2015):

MaskOn agony auntI think you should go for it. And by that, I mean find out if she is straight/gay/bi and if she's in a relationship and get to know her more in general. To me personally, it seems likes she's flirting, but I'm a massive flirt and I joke around a lot.

So who knows? HER. Just take it slow and see if she's trying to develop the relationship. By the way, she may be straight or seeing someone but sometimes facts become untrue and life changes. It's also better to ask her, not others who think they know her.

Someone that's not too close to her may say she's straight but maybe she's unwilling to let the whole world know for now. Or if she's in a relationship, someone that's really close to her or her herself may tell you that they don't seem like they're going to last for any longer.

Also with the whole work thing, life screws you over all the time. What if you end up being a really cute couple that lasted? Even if it does end badly, over time all the awkwardness will be gone and you won't be thinking what if I tried to develop a relationship with that girl back then.

Do what you think is right and get to know her more as a friend or as a possible love interest.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (29 May 2015):

Garbo agony auntOne rule that people should highly consider adopting is never to date anyone with whom they work because, as divorce and other statistics show, such stuff turns into very nasty situations that can threaten careers. I work for a very large organization and virtually every date/marriage or "we are together" arrangement has fallen down and one side is always seeking a transfer. Transferring in a smaller group is nearly impossible.

So my point here is to warn you about perils of dating on the job and that you would be much happier doing that somewhere else.

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