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female
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*ngelbbabe7490
writes: I'm currently a freshman in college who commutes back and forth to school. My senior year in February I started dating this guy. I'm 18 and hes 20. It has now been 9 months we have been going out. I lost my virginity to him and he has became super attached to me. Its almost as if I'm a treasure to him because it means a lot to him that he was the only guy I ever really hooked up with. After 7 months of dating him he told me he had recently stopped using percocets. If i had known this before hand I would have never gotten involved with him. He started going to youth group and slowly proved to me that he was a changed man. All of my trust and respect that I once had, had vanished. I tried breaking up with him but I was unsuccessful. Watching him cry in front of me was my weakness to giving him another chance. He is in love with me and does not want to start over with someone else. He made me feel guilty by telling me I was cold and that "if you end up breaking up with me, can you be the one to tell my mom, because she loves you more than she loves me" He feels as if I'm the best thing out there and the best thing that has ever happened to him. He want to risk loosing me and begged for a second chance. In a way I have already been lost because I do not feel the same about him. He told me with out me he is weak and I told him that being with him makes me weak. Anyhow, I gave it another shot without really wanting to. It has been two months since this has happened and as much as I do care for him, I feel as if the time is not right for me to have a boyfriend. I'm not proud of having a boyfriend and I feel that I would be better off independent and on my own, at least for now. I work 2 jobs, I'm a full-time student and I cheerlead. Having a boyfriend right now is almost a burden.My weekends are spent with my girls, I enjoy going out to clubs and having a good time without having to drag a boyfriend along. But there is a twist to this story :I've had a crush on my best friend who also happens to be my neighbor since the seventh grade and till this day I still have a thing for him. Telling him about my situation he encouraged me to be a bitch for once in my life and to dump my boyfriend. I was flattered by this because he was showing interest in me. About 2 weeks after my neighbor was drunk and texted me asking if I was single yet. I told him unfortunately not but then it took everything I had to ask him if he ever liked me more than just a friend. 10 minutes later he responds no, but he had thought about it many times. I told him that was cool but that I had liked him before and I have always wondered if he ever felt the same. Soon after he texted me back saying that there were two times he wanted to make a move and "hows that for the truth." Evaluating the situation I came to a conclusion that he was embarrassed to admit that he liked me until I initiated the conversation by telling him I did like him.Thinking about my situation, I know what I have to do. Although I hate being the heartbreaker I know that I have to follow through. I already have a Christmas gift for my boyfriend and he went all out getting me gifts. I don't want to ruin his holidays but I do not want to be involved anymore in this relationship. The past two nights I have forgotten to call him before going to bed. My neighbor is coming over this weekend with a few friends and we are going to play fake poker with my mom. The boyfriend isn't invited, but a large portion of my wishes that I was single.Question: I have a boyfriend for 9 months but a crush on my best friend, What should I do!?
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male
reader, twistedelm  +, writes (29 May 2009):
One thing I can say about giving second chances during a relationship is very simplistic and this is/ Where does it end? It's easy to give in but hard to get out? (Many problem women know what Im saying.) Im not trying to preach to you; Im just trying to offer whatever I can. In another area; sometimes when you first date someone they are full of fun and vigor but over time they turn into someone you dont recognise. This goes for all people who date-any age. I hope you can get your relationship to a happy conclusion. Stop worrying!
A
male
reader, twistedelm +, writes (28 May 2009):
I have a few ideas that might help you decide BUT you have to make the final decision? Which boy treats you like you are his best friend and you know this will continue? In your deepest feelings--how do you feel about either boy? Do you Like both boys-in a practical way? What are both boys dreams? Are both boys a hunk? This should give you plenty to think about. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 December 2008):
 I'm sorry, this is going to be a short message, I have to leave soon.
You should not allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed into staying in a relationship that you don't wish to be in. You're still young, you have many responsibilities with school and work, and you don't need to carry the burden of an overly clingy and emotionally needy boy. You go ahead and end it, do it as nicely as possible, but be firm and don't give any false hopes.
Do not bring up your new crush to the boyfriend, I'm sure he'll be suspicious, but it's not the new guy that's causing the end of the relationship, it's the situation you are in and the fact that your feelings have changed.
And break up before Christmas, so he can take the gifts back; you won't feel good accepting them when you know you're going to be ending it.
Be careful with the new crush, he may not be in it for the relationship, if you get my drift, but do enjoy seeing if you two have something potentially good together.
Good luck with school and everything!
Take care.
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