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I found dirty knickers in my husband's car

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2012) 13 Answers - (Newest, 5 February 2012)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I found dirty underwear in my husband car and they aren't mine I don't known what to do?

Dirty females underwears in my husband car? Im confuse I don't know what to do.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2012):

Now, I dont mean to discredit other peoples opinions, but maybe your husband has a little fetish for used underwear? People actually sell used underwear, and I know that some people pay big bucks for them. He may never even have met the wearer of the pants. Some men find smelling the pheromones a great turn on. Maybe he feels that he cant talk to you about this? But if this is a fetish, he is not alone. Many men become aroused by the scent left behind on a girls underwear.

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A female reader, uroboros United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2012):

i think he has cheated on you and forgot to get rid of the "evidence". you need to confront him about it!

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (16 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntHaving given your situation further consideration I now think it's possible your husband is not having an affair but is stealing women's underwear and keeping them as trophies. A man involved with another woman would have let the panties go, knowing he could get another pair at the next rendezvous. Your husband's manner with you was bold and bossy.

Maybe you should call the police. Given what we now know of perverts the authorities may take this more seriously. Having a visit from them would certainly rattle your husband's chain and at the very least it would remind him who the real boss is.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 January 2012):

Honeypie agony auntEwww, bye bye knickers and bye bye husband! He had no right to be mad at you. Which made me think that he was trying to make you feel bad about the situation and that way deflect the guilt for a little while.

Sit him down and ask him where they came from and WHY they are in the car.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012):

Yikes! This is NOT a good sign. I hate to say it but it is obvious. He is cheating on you. He couldnt even make the lie about lending the car to a buddy, or he went to a strip joint and some floozy threw her panties in the window. I am sorry, but it sure looks like he is doing something wrong.

Plus, no matter what, this incident will haunt you forever. Especially since he told you to stop being nosy. You are his WIFE. That gives you the right to be nosy all you want. It's not like he is hiding a Christmas present.

I say you received the bad kind of suprise. And now as hard as it may be, you need to make a decision. Stay with him not trusting him ever again, or find a real man, one who loves you for who you are, and does not need to prove himself with other women.

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A male reader, unknown2u United States +, writes (16 January 2012):

It's 90%+ that he's cheated. And he's not fessing up. The ball is squarely in your court -- are you prepared to accept him cheating?

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (16 January 2012):

Dear Mandy agony auntIm sorry your husband has womens dirty knickers in the car, and you find them, he then tells you not to be nosey???? I would pack his bags for him and put them in his car, and let whom ever he is seeing deal with him. You dont deserve to be treated this way. move on and find a real man xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you beautiful people for taking a minute of your time to give me advice. I appreaciate all of you thank you again.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (16 January 2012):

Tisha-1 agony auntMaybe they're HIS underwear? As in, he's a cross-dresser?

Anyway, it sounds like neither of you are listening to one another, so get a third party, like a marriage counselor, involved to help. That's the only way forward I see here.

Good luck.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (16 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntSo it's degenerated to the point that he's beyond caring about concocting an explanation. That heralds the end, I'm afraid. I'd start packing my bags.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He was by me when I found them, when I ask he said to stop being nosie, I was shock, we were at store I trough them out of the car he ran to pick them up. I lock car, told him he could not put them in car he got upset, put them under tire so he was going to put in car when I unlock door I pick them and through them farther. He said is something that include him only so what I was going to do. I told him I will give him answer soon.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (16 January 2012):

Ciar agony auntLeave them out on the kitchen counter for him to find. See what explanation he offers.

That will carry far more weight than an angry confrontation.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2012):

I don't want to hurt your feelings but he is clearly cheating on you. Confront him, and kick him to the curb. You have all the evidence you need honey it couldn't be any clearer that he's been unfaithful. Please don't believe any sorry pathetic excuse he may try to give. Be strong, and move on. Best of luck :)

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