A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 36 years old. I've been married to Bob for 3 years. We've been together for 6 years. We have had problems for awhile. He is 57. We have only had sex 1 time since we've been married. In November I found Mike on my high school alumni website. We dated in high school and I was in love with him then. We decided to meet and he knew my situation. We spent the weekend together and it was like we were never apart even though it had be 20 years. After being with him we decided we wanted to be together. Bob and I decided to get a divorce and a month later I moved in with Mike. He is a wonderful man as well as Bob is too. I lived with Mike for 5 weeks but I didn't like the area he lived. It was 300 miles from my home and I had a hard time adjusting. Bob let me move back into the house even though we are divorced. Mike doesn't know that I'm living in the same house as Bob. I have a 14 yr. old son from a previous marriage which Mike loves him. Bob doesn't really like my son that much. I have the security with Bob but I'm in love with Mike. Mike wants me to come back when my son is out of school for summer break. Mike wants a life with me and he loves me deeply. I miss Mike like crazy and I love him so much. Bob is very understanding and is a very good friend to me. He thinks I should be with Mike. I want to do the right thing for everyone. Including my son. I feel very guilty for everything. I don't want to hurt anyone but I want to be happy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice. It's nice from someone on the outside of the situation.
A
female
reader, chachacha  +, writes (2 March 2007):
Your only problem seems to be that you had a hard time adjusting to moving 300 miles away.
Well of course you did - moving is a big, stressful thing. But five weeks isn't really giving it very long, is it? Can't you go again and give it longer?
Is it out of the question for Mike to move to where you live?
Bob sounds like a saint, but don't treat him like a doormat. And don't take a risk with your relationship with Mike by introducing dishonesty, like not saying you are living with Bob - why not just be honest about that?
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