A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I just recently got in to a relationship, at first I had a massive crush on him and he did too. We met at a party a few weeks ago. He was ever so sweet and adorable, but we didn't really "click" if that makes sense. At the end of the night we did end up getting each others phone numbers and for the whole first week we talked non-stop til 2 am in the morning. This was during the last week of the holidays. I'm a senior in year 11 now and he's finishing up his HSC. We've been on a few dates and we're official but for some reason everything doesn't seem right anymore. I'm terribly insecure and clingy. I'm surprised this guy still likes me because I'm not really that pretty and nor is my personality. Due to my insecurities I tend to be a little pessimistic about life, which I don't want to be. I never really use to be like this, this probably started when my ex broke up with me last year. I'm pretty sure I'm over him but at the same time I'm a complete mess and I don't know why. The first week was kind of great, though after our first meeting I had a tendency to question whether I really liked this guy or not and eventually I thought "why not?" but then, everything still didn't feel right. I do honestly like this guy but at the same time, I don't really know. My feelings are completely messed up, maybe I'm scared? Maybe I'm just mentally screwed. I don't know. Everything just seems terrible for some reason and I can't really figure out why but I think I'm purposely sabotaging my relationship. I get annoyed at him for the smallest things, considering I'm a very clingy person, I tend to want things all to myself al the time. I know he has his HSC and his own life but I'm just so crazy, like literally I feel like one of those girls that go crazy over their boyfriends. I really don't want to be like this but I don't know what to do or what's wrong with me. Also, during the first week of getting to know each other he told me that he loved me which completely freaked me out but I don't know, he treated me so well, so kind and sweet and gentle but now he seems so uninterested and careless. I don't know how I feel about anything anymore and everything tends to get me down quite easily.I don't want to be like this, I want to be sure about my life and my decisions. I've been wanting a boyfriend for so long but now that I do have one it's just like, I don't know if I'm ready or even mentally stable. I never feel like I'm good enough for this guy, sometimes I even question whether he likes me anymore. Please help me, I don't understand how I feel about anything anymore, sorry if this is confusing, I'll reply to anything you ask.
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