A
female
age
26-29,
*enus0
writes:Hello everyone. I am in very difficult situation. When I was in 9 grade I felt something for my science teacher,the problem is that he is more older than me, he is over 50, I was 15 y.o. At first I didn't understand what is happening with me, I started nervous when I saw him. Next year when I was in grade 10 I started to study his subject very hard to get his attention. I have a nice body, slimmy, blond natural hair, green eyes. My outlooking was nothing comparing with that students who are trying to get good marks. So every day I studied science which was so difficult, and I got 9 (I was only one who had such a big mark because teacher was very strict). He noticed me and we started to communicate more. Now I have just finished 11 grade and these year wad amazing. Me and one other guy were going to teacher's observatory to watch at sky, learn theory. When the guy left us, we with teacher were alone, I never tried to do smth because I was afraid, I needed confidence. When I celebrated my 18th birthday I felt better. Now I am adult. We were always looking at sunset together and talked in serious topics, sometimes joking. Nowadays he is carrying if me, how do I feel, he is really interested in me. I have never dreamed about our chatting on phone like both are teenagers, despite his age. Last meeting was the most exciting. After observing the sky we got on bus (the way to our houses was the same) and we sat together, we didn't talk, was a comfortable silence. I closed my eyes and put my head on his shoulder, he didn't avoid me. He just smiled and let me have him for myself. It was the moments I've been waiting for.. To be near. He is planning a trip on August with me and other people who are interested in astronomy on the hill in night time with telescopes. He is married, but he never being with his wife a lot, just at home. Maybe because she is not interested in stars.. I'm nit gonna destroy his marriage, but on that hill (August) I want to do second step ant try to kiss him. So I want to hear your opinion about all that story and my step, please understand how difficult was to become so close with a teacher, now I feel that I can do anything, but I don't want to lose him by mistake. Thank you :)))
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): A kiss WOULD ruin his marriage. Marriage is about love, trust, honesty, respect. A kiss with another would destroy that.Surely you can understand that from seeing your own parents' relationship? Imagine another 18 year old tried to share a kiss with your dad. Would you feel that was fair on your mum? Would you forgive her for doing exactly what you're trying to do now?Alternatively, imagine yourself married in the future and someone triing to do all this to your own husband?I find it sad that you would study so hard just for the opportunity to try and ruin someone's marriage, rather than for your own education. You don't even want to 'keep' this man, just ruin his marriage for some kind of game you're playing.What made you so cynical of education, real love of learning, and so cynical of true honest love?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): It sounds like he looks at you as a daughter, not a possible love interest. You two have a special bond that will only be ruined if you try to make an advance. I would suggest just letting him go. With such a big age difference, and the fact that he has known you since you were a child, he probably sees you as that still. If he and his wife never had children, you are his outlet for the "daughter" in his life he never had.
My opinion, don't go for it. It'll ruin your relationship.
Good luck with everything and I hope it turns out for the best!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 School girls and their crushes my my. Everyone whose had one in their youth raise your hand....
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 June 2013):
 you can't lose what you don't have and you don't have him.
He's your teacher. He's married. What he does with you is part of his JOB. Of course his wife does not attend because she does not go to work with her husband just like I do not go to work with mine.
You can't make ANY assumptions on his marriage or how he feels about you.
18 may be legally an adult but it's not emotionally an adult.
I would suggest that if you ATTEMPT to kiss him, you will be mortified and embarrassed to be rebuffed by him which would be appropriate. OTHERS on the trip may notice, then you have to live with your embarrassment publicly.
I would table this plan to attempt to kiss someone you really do not know, who is not available to you as you wish him to be and rather focus on learning things such as "you can't always get what you want" and the fine art of discretion.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (8 June 2013):
Do you have a father in your life? Are you missing that older father figure to attend to your "daughterly" needs?
Seriously what is it?
If you kiss this (almost senior citizen) man you will want the next step. Don't do it. You will ruin your friendship you have with this guy. He is your mentor, not a love interest.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): Never mind the fact he is married, which itself is good enough reason not to try this crazy plan of yours, but what happens if you try to kiss him and he turns you down? You will still have to see him every day, and he could (no make that should) report you to the school board or head teacher and you could get into serious trouble. You have to stop this before you end up in trouble and with a pretty bad reputation as well. If word gets out you will be labelled a home wrecker (and worse) because you are trying to take romantic steps with someone else's husband.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): You are a young girl. You will ignore the advice we are offering you here; because you don't care what harm you can cause to a marriage or to yourself. I doubt you'll settle for just a kiss. You're too determined.Your lessons must be learned the hard way. You must learn through experience that you can't just make the moves on a married man. Some wives can be pretty protective, and if they find out who is messing around with their husbands; there is hell to pay. If you live in a small town, people talk. You never know who's watching. He may confess to his wife out of guilt. Wives have ways of finding out their husband's secrets.You don't know how vicious some women can be to the woman that seduced their husband. You may learn one day. You may even find out what it feels like; because it may happen to your husband someday. If you don't want to steal him away from his wife, go kiss someone that doesn't have a wife. There's a fresh idea!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2013): This is wrong on so many levels. You're trying to make it sound so innocent saying you just want a kiss. But you are naive. One kiss could destroy his marriage, his career and even both his and your reputations too. He's old enough to be dad or even your grandad! That's wrong. He could have a daughter your age!! He's probably being friendly because you have an interest in his subject. Teachers shouldn't favour people but they always prefer people who are interested because they can engage better with them. This is all it is. He is not interested in you romantically. If you do go for this kiss you will destroy any "friendship" you do have with this teacher. Find a nice guy your own age and you will soon get over this crush. Trust me. I've had crushes on teachers and they soon pass.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 June 2013):
 Three things are very big reasons for NOT even thinking about it:
1. If you had a husband or boyfriend you loved, how would you feel if some other girl stole a kiss from him
2. Obviously you don't love him, because you you did, you wouldn't put his job in jeopardy. It doesn't matter if you're 18. You're still in school, which makes you illegal and career ending to him.
3. He's HOW old? Mid 50'e? And you're 18, making him almost 40 years older than you? That is gross, no matter how you consider it. Mid 50's and married, and you're about to be a senior in high school.
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 Stop being so selfish. He's married. It's none of your business what goes on between him and his wife. His behaviour sounds pretty inappropriate, too. You'd do well to just stay away from this man who is old enough to be your grandfather.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 June 2013):
 Travelling down this path lies only BIG problems and a lot of hurt. You claim you are not going to hurt his marriage but that you don't want to lose him through a mistake.
Believe me, kissing this man is a big mistake. And how the hell do you know what he does with his wife when he is home, have you been peeping in the windows?
Stay away from married men, especially this one, he is not yours to be taking first step with let alone second step.
If you take the second step what about the third step, and do you think that third step is going to end with you crying or his wife?
Stick to boys your own age and leave this married man, who should know better, alone!
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