A
female
age
51-59,
*orel
writes:I have been married for 10 years. My husband has been loving and respectful. He has been working in the Middle east for the last 6 months, and I have seen him about once a month. But about a month ago, on the last visit home, something about his behaviour seemed 'off'. For the first time ever, i began checking through his emails. I discovered that he has been emailing... almost daily a prostitute, and has arranged a 'date' at a hotel in about 3 weeks time. I am totally devastated,and don't know what to do. Half of me wants to continue to check on the email and not say anything - just to see if he goes through with it. The other half wants to confront him. I won't actually see him face to face for another month. I also feel guilty about snooping, and I don't know how to start the conversation. I have two beautiful children, who adore their father.Please help.
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female
reader, disappointedwoman  +, writes (29 August 2008):
I agree with all the replies to this post...don't excuse the behavior and don't let him try to weasel out of this. It is soul crushing to live with this horrible situation. I know it first hand. Now that I'm out of the situation and can look at it objectively, I'm embarrassed I stayed so long.
A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (11 April 2008):
 I know how this one feels. My husband has been cheating on the internet, nothing physical, but the pain is fairly much the same, and at the moment I too am snooping in his e mails. I feel like the lowest dog for doing it, but like you, I need to see what, if anything else, is going on. Personally, I am going to keep looking until I see no more of this crap is going on, though of course they can just change sites once they know you know, but at the moment he has no access to a computer, so I'm just watching who turns up. I feel you need to do this so you can see the reality of it all, and make your mind up with no shadow of a doubt. Its the doubt that bothers your head. You need your head and your heart to be saying the same thing. Mine are saying two different things at the moment, doubt has crept in, so I may possibly see him again until I know for sure one way or the other. You must do whats right for you, I can only give my side based on what happened to me. Good luck. Its tough I know. Love and blessings.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 April 2008):
 Hi,
sorry to see you going through this. But after your latest post you now know that your husband is a cheating rat.
It must be awful for you, knowing that your husband sleeps with prostitutes. But unfortunately the reason there are so many escort services and brothels out there is because they have plenty of clients - generally married men with children.
I guess it's a case of whether you see yourself as one of these wives who turn their back on their husband's infidelities and cross their fingers that he doesnt bring home an S.T.D .
good luck in your future, hopefully you can learn to live it without this rat.
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A
male
reader, quarky +, writes (3 April 2008):
 I agree with the last 'aunt' - you've gotta confront him or it'll just tear you up more than it already has.
If he's a decent bloke, he should accept how you feel, take it on board and stop.
Truly sorry to hear that it's happening tho' - wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, norel +, writes (3 April 2008):
norel is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies. Well, after I posted on here, I called him and told him what I knew. Of course, completely denied it. Even said that he had been asked by his boss to arrange the girl - can you believe it!!
I am so upset, I think I need to get my thoughts in an email to him,and send it before I calm down.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): I am sorry for what you are going through. This is what i would do, but you dont have to follow it. I would keep an eye on things until he returned and then i would give him it with all barrels firing. I would print out the emails and have every scrap of evidence in front of him. Yes, you snooped, but you are his wife, i would of done the same. You will have to wait until he is face to face with you and ask him outright if he has been seeing someone else. If he denies it then produce the evidence, but make sure that you are 100%. What if you hadnt come across that,and he had gone with the prostitute and come back and slept with you and passed on a desease or even worse, AIDS. If he is visiting a foreign land then that is highly possible. Be strong and brave for yourself and your kids. You may be bringing them up yourself in the future. Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on. Sending you big hugs and love.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2008): oh my .... this is a toughie ... I think you should confront him . Ask him it casually ... be like so... have you made any friends where you are ??? then dig a little deeper and see if he says anything about this chick and if he doesn't keep checking his e-mails .... then whenever you see him to face to face show him the evidence. You shouldn't feel bad about snopping. If he didn't have anyhting to have there would be no problem wud there? But urge you to try to stay together for the kids. Kids in broken families dont' end up well most times. But if it takes it then take them with you and leave him . that's all the advice I have for you . I hope it helped in some way ... Message me anytime ! :)
*~VG~*
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