A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i've been seeing this guy and I can't stay the night with him because i'm worried about the morning after. I'm not naturally pretty, he always goes on about how beautiful and gorgeous I am... which just makes me insecure about wearing no to little make up with him! I should be able to, i want to wake up next to him and not care how i look! But unlike my friends and sister who are lucky to be naturally beautiful, i'm not one of them. I just look better with makeup on and i don't know if this is going to be a problem, i don't want him thinking 'oh she's not as beautiful as i thought'.... it is a big difference my make up in the evenings to me not wearing any.
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Well you could sneak out of bed a hour before he normaly wakes up, slide into the bathroom, wash your face, put on just the very lightest amount of sheer foundation and a very, very light dusting of blush. No eye-liner, no mascara but just a hint of lip tint and don't forget to gargle since you're in the there anyhow; then sneak back into bed, snuggle up to him, close your eyes and try to fall back to sleep (or pretend to), then when he does wake up you won't be totally "naked" and natural. But trust me, that routine will get exhausting and sooner or later when you get used to him you won't be so freaked out. I remember when I first started sleeping over at my honey's house, I didn't mind washing off my make up at night, the lights were usually low, and sex was in the dark. The next morning his bedroom had heavy drapes drawn tight, making the room cozy and dim. Perfect for a girl with no make up on. By the time we did roll out of bed and into the light of day, I would duck into the bathroom (to pee of course) and I always kept a small make up bag in there so I could put on very minimal make-up before I started cooking breakfast. I've never felt totally comfortable sitting around the breakfast table with my just-rolled-out-of bed face. I look hideous! So I completely understand. In fact, to this day I still slip out of bed at pre-dawn and use mouthwash since I usually have to pee by 5:00 AM anyhow. Good luck.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 I'm not sure how long you've been together, but if it's to the point where he says he loves you, he'll love you even more without the makeup - because then he gets to see the real you, and that is even more beautiful than the face you show the public.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 September 2012):
 He probably doesn't want you to see him with dragon breath, stubble, and messy greasy hair. But he will let you because it's part of intimacy. Makeup may look better from far away, but when you're very close to someone in the morning light, makeup looks fake and cakey.
Unless he is the thickest person on the planet, he knows women wear makeup and he knows what you look like without it. He isn't dating your makeup, he is dating YOU, the person underneath your makeup. Men know women are often totally fake. Spanx, push up bras, makeup, tanner, clip in hair, etc...
What is the point of trying to be attractive if once you've attracted someone you can't let your hair down and relax around them?
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (17 September 2012):
I once watched a documentary about body dysmorphia. In it was a beautiful girl who hid her face behind layers and layers of makeup, because she was afraid that people would find her hideous without it.
At the end of the documentary, they'd gotten her as far as to face the world without makeup and she looked really pretty even though her skin wasn't magazine flawless and her eyelashes were light instead of tick mascara black among other things. At first she was terrified but when she found that people treated her the same way and she even got compliments, she got more comfortable.
Look at your pictures from childhood. You were pretty and natural then. You still are, underneath all that stuff. If you cannot quit cold turkey, then go in steps:
- Swap your concealer and powder for BB-cream and some lightweight foundation for the trouble spots. Gently tap with your fingers to work the makeup in so you won't use much plus it looks more natural.
- Use subtle mascara instead of the million lashes/volume ones. Telescopic from L'oreal is a nice one. Just use one stroke per eyelash; that's enough.
- If you have to use eyeshadow, use the ones that are just one or two tints tints darker than your own skin.
- Don't do smokey eyes for a daily look.
- Use lip balm instead of gloss or lipstick.
If you can transition to that the prospect of your morning face won't scare you so much either. Plus it's so much better for your skin. It'll start clearing up by itself. If you want to aid your skin, start drinking green tea. Lots of it. Trust me, it helps.
But most of all, like Cerberus said; guys aren't fools. This guy likes you for who you are. I'd bet he likes your morning face too. No-one looks like an angel when they step out of bed and no-one expects you to.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 September 2012):
 My husband calls it "putting my eyes on"... Because I rarely wear make up and when I do, it's usually just mascara.
Honey, if you worry about not having make up on, how about potentially be naked? or in weird positions?
He loves YOU for you, not for how you look.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): I find it so weird that women think we're so stupid as not be able to judge what a woman's face looks like under her make-up. OP we can see your natural skin colour on your neck, ears and wrists. We can see all the tiny blemishes you think you've covered when our face is close enough to kiss you and finally the vast majority of us think women look better with no make-up on, that our girlfriend's morning faces are not only beautiful but also cute as hell, because that's when they're at their most vulnerable. Besides we just spent the night with that girl and seeing her face in the morning is one of the best feelings imaginable.
OP guys don't care about make-up only girls do, most of us prefer to see our girlfriends real face, I certainly do, I much prefer to kiss her skin and not get a chalky after-taste, be able to plant a soft kiss on one of her closed eyes without her flinching in case I smudge her clown eyes. I think make-up makes women look like insecure clowns unless it's for s specific occasion. All that disgusting powder, crusting their noses and big black clumps of eyeliner and mascara, not pretty when up close.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 September 2012):
 I think you are under-estimating yourself and over-estimating your boyfriend. Most guys don't give a rat's ass about make up when they have a living breathing woman in the sack. Relax and enjoy yourself, and if it makes you feel more confident wear water proof makeup, but I'm telling you he won't notice or care.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): Surely he's aware when you are wearing make-up, and not naïve enough to think people would look exactly the same without make up as you do with make up, nobody does.
If he takes a dislike to you without make up then he's only basing his side of the relationship on looks alone and doesn't really think much of you as a person. In which case should tell you he's not right for you.
Somehow I think you're worrying too much, after all nobody looks their best first thing in the morning, him included.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 September 2012):
 I bet if you tell him this he will tell you that you are beautiful anyway you are...
I'm old honey and i look ten times better with makeup... but there are just times i can't do it.
Katy Perry had a song on that the line was
"you think i'm pretty without any makeup on..."
my fiance sent it to me over a year ago asking if that's how he made me feel.... it was sweet.
a man that loves you thinks you are beautiful no matter what.
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