A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Quick question. Should I come out to my parents together or one at a time? What are the pros/cons?Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2012): I'd confide in the one you're closest to and not make it a big deal OP.
Say you're in the kitchen and your mom is making the dinner and you're making tea just say it to her or your dad in that way.
I have a few gay friends and some gay cousins. Some have done the "family meeting" type and it varied from perfectly fine to pissed off that they came out that way. It kind of put a lot of pressure on them because they made it this huge deal by being so formal about it.
My friends who just said it casually felt fine even when their parents weren't really accepting of it to begin with.
But the vast majority of them their parents already knew and suspected it. Not surprising when you think that a boy's mother knows more about him than he will ever know about himself. Trust me OP, your mother probably knew before you did. Even my 'straight-acting' friends their parents suspected they were gay.
OP whatever reaction they're going to have, is the one they're going to have no matter what you do, better to just say it than make it into a big deal. Just say it to one in passing and they'll probably help you cushion saying it to the other or advise you to wait until they'd first had a chat with them.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Well in our house...
brother told me when he was 13
he told mom when he was 16
MOM told dad when he was about 19/20
mom took it ok
dad did not take it so well at first (but it was also a different time the late 70s before HIV was known and it was still very VERY difficult to be an OUT gay man)
it's going to depend on your parents.... do you think they will be ok with it?
FWIW my dad is very ok with it now... it just took him a bit of getting used to not having grand children from my brother...
My brother is happily married and my dad is very loving and accepting of my brother's husband. WE just wish our mom had been alive to meet him...
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