A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On my senior year i met this teacher at school. He wasn't my teacher, never was. He was just my UIL coach. When i first saw him i didn't know he was a teacher so i just started crushing on him until i found out he was a teacher, bummer right? Anyways this was the first semester of my senior year in high-school, the second semester we started talking, texting and talking on Facebook. We did not add each other until the day i graduated. We are no dating and my parents know and some of his friends also. only some because most of his friends are teachers. Well the problem is that i feel left out sometimes when i don't get invited to his house parties or when we can't just go out in public with the fear of someone from the school seeing us. The problem with this is that last year someone decided to tell the principal we had something going on. That kid saw when my now boyfriend touched me not in a bad way but just in an intimate way. We didn't have sex until later later on but not during school. Anyways so after that the principal started an investigation but luckily she didn't find anything and dropped it. But yea so that's the reason that i don't get invited to his parties and because one of my teachers that actually taught me in my senior year goes to them so my boyfriend says that it's not good for her to see him cuz she can tell someone. And the public problem is that while the investigation was on some other students were involved in it so they were asked questions and he is afraid we will see one of them or one of his ex students and spread the rumor or truth. I just want to know how should i approach that teacher so i can go out with my boyfriend at least to some of his parties, we have never gone out to that and i tell him to go out to the parties or gathering with my friends and he says he will feel weird because of his age and my friends age.
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 I dont really see the problem here - you never dated while you were at school and as far as I am aware there is no law to say teachers cant date former students? Or is there a law on that in your state?
If it is perfectly legal to date former students who are over the legal age of consent (which I presume you are?) then there is no problem. I think your boyfriend needs to go to the principal and explain everything - that you never dated while you were at school but are now together. If he is upfront and honest with his boss, then there cannot be any problem if any kids or other teachers start saying something.
Then once his boss knows the truth and is happy with the situation, you can start going to parties with him and no-one can say anything because the principal knows everything so there are no secrets.
I hope this helps and good luck!
A
female
reader, malletchick76 +, writes (10 January 2012):
 So let me get this straight, you met this guy who still is a teacher at your old school, and you graduated and are of age?
If that's the case I wouldn't approach the other teacher because you don't want to start a fight and make yourself look immature (even if it's not your fault).
Tell your bf that you feel excluded and that you guys can't always hide because if someone wants to find out, they will. At least enjoy each others company because someone might see you guys just walking down the street.
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