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age
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anonymous
writes: My Partner has a long term illness MS plus other problems related to the illness She has lost all interested in sex, maybe that is a bad way to put it .I will put it this way the illness has been the cause. Not my partner. The last time we had sex together about two years ago to this moment in time. to no sexual relations of any kind. I thought I might be able to cope but is slowly driving me mad. I think about is sex all the time. Trying to find ways of reliving the frustration is not easy we are sexual beings. Its hard to put into words the loss I feel how important sex is in a relationship. Any answers out there
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 January 2012):
 maverick: Your parents sound like a delightful couple who have endured the greatest of stresses, and yet remain faithful to love and honesty between themselves. God bless 'em....
I hope the OP of this will read and re-read your response and see the important message in it.....
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012): First off, do not talk to her about it if you cannot have sex with her because of the disease. Let it go...but don't stop being affectionate and don't stop loving and holding. Do all the loving things you do with her without stinting.
For actual sex, you might need to find an arrangement elsewhere. Orgasms "alone", and the key word is "alone" is not a substitute for a kind and generous sexual relationship.
Nobody who has not been in your shoes can advise you fully. I would advise you to think about this very carefully.
If you choose someone else to be intimate with, DO NOT LET HER KNOW UNLESS SHE HAS CONSENTED TO IT AND URGED YOU TO IT BEFORE YOU HAVE EVEN MADE THE INITIAL CONTACTS. Otherwise, it will hurt terribly, even if it is understood.
There is no substitute for honesty and openness around these issues.
Most partners will want the other person to have that ongoing sexual part of their life, as long as they are still loved, wanted, and cherished in all the other ways possible.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 January 2012):
My dad is your age and my mom also has MS. The illness has been very agressive in her case, as she is now in an electric wheelchair, only able to move her hands a bit and her head. She has been this way for more than 3 years now.
Their sex life has ceased to be because of the illness, but my dad is able to cope with it because they are still affectionate, with cuddles and kisses and all that. Plus they still just manage to have fun talking and joking around. I asked him about it once, whether he missed it and he said yes, but he also said he didn't think sex was essential and he could do without.
Basically you have to decide for yourself what you truly find important. If sex is something that cannot be denied every 13-year old teenager would be humping each other like rabbits, but as it stands we still have virgins at the age of 20,25,27 and sometimes even in their thirties. You could say they've held out for a decade or more. They should be mad by now, shouldn't they? I don't want to be mean or deny the issue, because of course it is hard. I just want to offer some perspective.
And as So_Very_Confused said, you can get orgasms by yourself. Maybe even look for techniques online. As there are many ways to please another, there are many ways to please yourself. It might not be ideal but it's better than crossing the line and cheating on her.
Try to freshen things up a bit, as hard as it may be. Visit places, go to dinner. Do those things you still can with her while you can.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 January 2012):
 Are you guys still able to be affectionate? I would miss the physical contact of cuddles and kisses way more than the sex... orgasm can be had by myself easily....
is she affectionate? are you with her?
for me affection is critical sex is not.
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