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I can't deal with the change and knowing all the good times are coming to an end. I've found who I truly am and now it's going to end.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends, Health, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Wondered if you can help me. Im feeling pretty awful atm, well i have for some time, and in all honesty all i want is to be happy.

In my head i know the reasons for this but to put it into words is abit of a challenge.

one of the reasons for me feelings constantly depressed is that I've lost a good friend of mine. Well he wasnt exactlly the best friend in the world but i was in love with him, and after everything that happened although he always denied it, it appeared that deep down he had some feelings for me. He turned into an idiot due to the people he started to hang around with and i was sick of the way he was treating me. Therefore i did the right thing and fell out with him since he would never tell me why and just ignored me.

Anyway, that alone isn;t the reason for this. Yes i have my good days and bad days but i feel the good days are coming to an end rather soon. Im at University, and these past few months I've had loads of fun, but its drawing slowly to an end due to some of us are going on work placements. All in all theres a group of us that are good friends however the one I'm closest to and have had some of the best times of my life with, may be leaving after this year to do a placement.

I've always been rather quiet and shy, never been very outgoing, I do have good friends but they're also kinda quiet and since then I've changed. I used to be quite happy to sit at home do my own thing etc but now i wanna be around people, I want to go out but one thing I;ve realised is, I will only be that open with certain people and a lot of these aren't my mates that i hang around with now.

I guess my problem is I found a great friend at uni who i will go away with, go out with, do anything and i cant describe it but its different from going out with my other mates and i love it. its also helped me to take my mind off that guy as well as she doesnt know him so it doesnt bring back memories. The fact its all coming to an end is just constantly upseting me and making me think, what is there to life now?

A part of me feels i want to try and be friends with that guy again but why should I when he seems to not care, although hes abit like that with most people(hes really quiet) but then again i hate the fact that all these good times are coming to an end! I cant deal with the change and moving on in life. Please help :(

View related questions: best friend, depressed, shy, university

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A male reader, PCUk72 United Kingdom +, writes (14 January 2011):

As suggested forget the guy, concentrate on your real friends & plan some stuff for the summer when you can meet up. Try to concentrate on the positives - everybody gets down, so lean on your friends or family if you can. When you start to work, your social life will change again with lots of new friends & potential loves! All the best:)x

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A female reader, petina1 United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2011):

petina1 agony auntUnfortunately this is life, i know how you feel. When we go to school, college, uni, work, different jobs etc, move house, we have a change of people in our circle and it's always sad leaving something nice behind. It's always nice to meet new friends as well. Facebook has been a Godsend sometimes because it keeps us in touch with people no matter where we are in the world so that's good. I always have an address book and if i don't want to lose anyone , their name goes in that book and address, tel no. email contacts etc. May be a good idea to do the same, a small consolation.

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A female reader, Lizprinz Netherlands +, writes (13 January 2011):

Are you serious ?? what's there to life ? omg, what you need to do is find a new hobby, something you didn't do before that involves a group. Like a painting course, or going to the gym, or learning a new language, enroll yourself in a singles cruise. There are plenty of ways to be social and meet new people.

And if you're supposed to meet someone, you will. If all else fails, focus on your work/career/school, you will be so tired, you would only want to sit and watch a good movie afterwards.

If not, dress up and go to a club, stand outside or at the bar, tell people who approach you that your friends could't make it, there is always something to talk about.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011):

You are at a stage in life when lots of things are uncertain. Try not to be too negative. Even the most confident people are, inside, worried about the future when they move from one stage of their life to another. You sound a little depressed. Life is about change, and you don't know what is around the corner. It could be something great. Don't bother with the boy who is not interested in you. That will only get you down more. Please try and be hopeful. Often, having a positive attitude helps in life. Look to what might happen and not what might not.

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