A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a complicated situation. When I was 18, my kidneys failed. I lost 36 pounds, and went from a C-cup breast size to a small B/A cup. It has been 5 years since the incident, and I haven't gained any weight regardless of my many attempts to do so. I've tried birth-control, which only increased them slightly, but gave me really bad mood swings, and depression. It's gotten to a point where I no longer feel like a woman. Once, when I was out shopping with my sister and niece at Victoria Secret, they laughed at my "mosquito bite" breasts. (Both of them have D, and DD breasts.) For the past 4 years, I've been considering breast augmentation. I've seen the bad, the good, and just about everything in-between. I've decided I really want them. The problem is that I can't afford them. I'm a junior pre-med with barely enough time to fit in my studies, volunteer service, and MCAT studying. My mother refuses to give any money in the matter because she disagrees with any surgery, and has a one-sided view of the process. She won't even give money for Birthday's and Christmas because she knows I'll save it. I've offered to pay her back 100%+ interest once I start my residency. I'm not worried about money. I just don't want to have to wait 6+ years (around the time I'll be considering having kids) to get the surgery. I don't know what to do. All my options are exhausted, and I'm really tired of push-up bra's which I'm no longer filling out.Please give me advice on what to do from here. :(
View related questions:
breasts, christmas, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Chigirl is right I can be a 34C or a 36B depends on the bra... and many men say that MORE than a mouthful is a waste...
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 SVC you make it sound like a thrill to be a member of the itty bitty titty committee :D Now I love my boobies even more!
32C here!
OP, you didn't say your actual bra size, you just said cups, but the cup size changes depending on the number..! So your breasts might actually be big even if they are a B cup for all we know.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 February 2012):
Aside from the cost have you figured in the down time for surgery? I had plastic surgery this summer it was the worst surgery of my life. I had a mastopexy without implants and I had drains for nearly 2 weeks in each breast. The pain killers render you unable to be alone or to drive or do much of anything for yourself for a few weeks. Can you miss that much time from life?
What I advise you to do is find a good body image therapist and work with them to figure out how you can come to accept your body the way it is. IT functions. It serves its purpose. Besides once your body matures (and breasts do mature after pregnancy and breastfeeding) I doubt you will be happy with them even with the implants. I STRONGLY suggest you wait to fix what you are still unhappy with till after you have and nurture your babies.
As a woman who went from a 48DDD to a 34B I can tell you that I’m thrilled to be a member of the itty bitty titty committee… no problems finding cute bras. The ability to wear button tops without safety pins to keep the chest properly together, no shopping for minimizers. NO shoulder pain. No needing sports bras 24/7… no boobs that droop to my waist, no grooves in my shoulders… no back pain…
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (29 February 2012):
I advice you to get friends with the same breast size as you so you can see that you really aren't an odd case out or any less of a woman. Womanhood lies not in the size of breasts, but in how you conduct yourself. However, spending time with women who have huge bazongas will naturally make you feel odd, or lacking, in that department. But it's all about context.
Sell things you own if you want the money. Get a part time job. Offer yourself up for experiments to get money. I don't know, do what everyone else do to get money, there's no magic fix to money problems. Or just continue to wait.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 February 2012):
 Take the possessions you don't need and sell them. Take the presents your mother gave you instead of cash and sell those for cash. Drop the volunteerism or minimize the hours and find a job. Babysit in the evenings so you can study AND earn money.
My take on this 'complicated situation' is that you are unhappy with yourself and have decided that you can blame it on small breasts and the people around you who won't help you with cash for the surgery. My guess is that if you do get the surgery, you will find something else to be unhappy about in yourself.
The fact that you take an obnoxious comment from your sister and niece (who will have sagging breasts, no doubt, that's what happens to D/DDs, they SAG) and internalized it tells me that you are actively looking for ways to be overly critical of yourself.
This isn't about boobs, this is about you being unhappy in yourself. The surgery is a stopgap and won't fix the fundamental problem.
What was the cause for your renal failure?
My sister has had a double mastectomy, after having lovely A cups for years. Those lovely little breasts, well one of them anyway, tried to kill her. She's now a reconstructed C and in none of this, not one moment of this procedure and treatments and surgery and ongoing therapy, in NONE of this was she ever NOT a woman.
Womanhood, femininity, is in the brain, not in the boobs. That's what needs treatment here, I think. Granted, yes, altered physical appearance is challenging, but guess what? You will change over your life. You will get grey hair and wrinkles and things will sag and other things will start to ache and you will not look the same at 48 that you did at 18. It's a fact of life. You are a changing organism, the you that is INSIDE is the same, the you that is the OUTSIDE goes through changes. Your INSIDE is what needs to be examined by you, and maybe a professional counselor.
If it is this important to you, the other things in your life that are less important can be let go of, to earn the cash you think you need. I think you are just here to vent, to get some sympathy for your plight, which honestly, isn't that critical. I know, that sounds a bit dismissive of your plea but you enjoy so many blessings you are overlooking them.
You have good health care, if you were able to recover fully from renal failure. You have a family who cares about you, even if they are strict. You can afford to buy things at Victoria's Secret [though why you would want to go into a store that basically sells fantasy is beyond me, try looking at more athletic stores where smaller breasts on fit women are the norm, rather than these uberfeminine shops where silicone blobs top matchstick figures). You're able to afford university, and in a field of study that will last for YEARS, medicine. That's something not many people can do. You have internet access, and food and apparent good health at this point in time. You have so much more than countless people on this planet yet your life is ruined because you have small breasts?
You lack perspective, m'dear. Work on that. Change your filter, change your viewing glasses, change the position from which you look at the world. It will make for a healthier you in the long run.
Be well.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): You've obviously made your decision and despite the best attempts by your family and friends I don't think you're going to change your mind.
At the moment you don't have time for the surgery anyway OP, regardless of whether you could pay for them or not can you really afford to waste all that time in recovery? I don't think you can right now so you have no option really but to focus on your studies and buy some "chicken fillets". http://www.maxcleavage.com/info/silicone-breast-enhancers
One fake boob is the same another really isn't it? For the moment you'll have to make do with the silicone being outside your breast.
Get some chicken fillets for now OP, they will boost your bra size to nice amount, just try not to go to ridiculous size, just a minor enhancement to see how that feels for you. Not only will you have bigger looking boobs but you will also be able to trial having bigger boobs for a few months and see if that does make a difference to how you feel. They're definitely worth trying as temporary measure and then you can get the surgery when you can afford it if you like, who knows, you may even have all that money saved and then not want it anymore.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2012): A B cup is not small imo and whatever size you are you should just learn to be happy with that- "smaller" breasts are not a flaw to be corrected. Be happy that you have good health now.
It's odd I had thought my bra size was 34 B-C for years but I found out recently it is really 32 D/DD. I have opted for 34 D as this is most comfortable for me. I like them a little fuller which fluctuates with weight/hormones and so on but I would never have enlarged them, they're beautiful, whether they're a little smaller or larger. You need to learn to be happy with them, that's all. Think of all the things you can do with that money.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (29 February 2012):
 It's ironic that you want fake boobs to feel like a real woman.
There are more satisfying goals to strive for before settling down to have children. Things like travelling, seeing the world, enjoying your freedom, buying a house, saving money and preparing a nest egg. Yet your main objective is to get bigger boobs because you have a very narrow and rigid idea of what a real woman is. And you want your mother to go against her own beliefs so you can have them. It's not she who has the one sided view here.
This situation isn't complicated at all. If you cannot afford to have breast augmentation surgery, then you must wait until you can. Simple as that.
A B cup is nothing to laugh at, and a D or DD size cup is no picnic. Your sister and niece might have made jokes about you because they are tired of receiving breast comments from others and seized the chance to turn the tables (unfortunately on you). Smaller breasted women have the option of making themselves look larger by what they wear. Big breasted women are stuck with that look whether they're in the mood for the extra attention or not.
The ideal breast size changes all the time. Years ago it was the Lori Singer flat chested look. Now it's the porn star look. But scars are permanent. I think the best advice I can give you, as cliche as it sounds, is to pay attention to the women around you, all of them, not just the ones who fit your ideal, and see how attractive many of them are naturally, whatever their size.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (29 February 2012):
 I'm thinking if your kidneys failed 4 or 5 years ago, it's probably not a good idea to undergo unnecessary surgery and breast augmentation is unnecessary surgery. Kidneys don't just fail out of the clear blue. There has to be things going on; or issues with your kidneys that make them more fragile. Having said that, I would be more concerned about living a healthy life and keeping your kidneys healthy, which means not taking unnecessary medications or having surgery unless your life depends on it. Cheer up, there are lots of women with small boobs. You're so much more than your boobs anyhow. If you get busy having a life, you'll find a great man, have some children (if you're health can support a pregnancy that is) and who knows, your boobs may blossom naturally.
...............................
|
