A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have got a problem which needs your help. I met my girlfriend in Singapore two years ago and living with her in her small apartment there provided to her by school where she teaches. I do odd job there and grateful to her for that. She is an American and right now I'm in Pakistan on one month holidays to spend time with my family. 4 days back, on Skype video call, I called her fat potato and laughed . Yes, she is beautiful despite having a weight gaining tendency because she has a good height. She was really ^^^^ed off calling me Jerk . I apologized and things seem to be OK if not great. How to make peace with her now ? And why girls overreact to joke whereas guys can take any joke from girls? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 November 2013):
 Have you heard of empathy?
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 November 2013):
I agree with the small penis comparison. I don't really know why fat is such a forbidden word, but one day my wife and I were joking around and she joked that I had a small penis, and holy shit that hurt, even if I know it's not true. Since size and weight are often a matter of individual preference, I took it to mean that I wasn't big enough for my wife when she was totally joking and i knew that (at least I hope so).
Your gf probably is aware that she's a little chubby but now she feels like you aren't attracted to her.
You can't really fix it, because she knows she's overweight, so telling her you were just kidding won't work.
Give it time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013): Guys are conditioned to not to be emotional and we have to be tough no matter how much a comment hurts. We can't openly express emotion without our masculinity being called into question. Women are a lot tougher than you think, and don't always take insults lying down.It's when you get personal and make insults about their weight, her body, or how they look. They work hard to be attractive; or just to look presentable in a very critical and brutal world.So you took a cheap shot at her weight when it so happens it was something that is a reality to her. So she is sensitive about it. You caught her off guard. She can handle it; but it was a cheap shot that hurt her feelings.Skype her with a formal apology and a promise to make it up to her. Don't just do it because you're afraid you won't have a place to stay when you return. Don't be surprised if you don't. If she's American, she's pretty tough. She won't take shots from guys without some consequence.Give her a formal face to face apology. That might do it.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (31 October 2013):
 Girls can take jokes, but calling a girl fat is completely off limits. Lol. I mean, really? In just about every culture, women are expected to look a certain way. looks are emphasized way more for women then are for men.
In america, at least, if you notice a TV anchor who is female, she is NEVER overweight. She is slim and beautiful. however, the men, on the other hand, are not attractive in the same way. They can be average in appearance and no one cares. So for women, culturally, it's written all over the place that their weight is super important.
Not to forget to mention that women's clothing is designed specifically for a small build. if you ask me, a small in America in women's clothing should be really more like an extra, extra small! While a large is what fits most average women. So with that being said, most women are made to feel super sensitive about their weight.
Ever notice the prevalence of eating disorders? it's almost an all female disorder. Ever wonder why? Culture, my friend.
It's the one thing almost every woman is sensitive about. The only equivalent would be if she referred to you as her favorite, little, tiny penis. Would you not be offended? You know how men are in reference to their junk. So yeah, it's Tue same thing.
Calling your girlfriend fat potato is literally an awful thing to say lol! Fat potato? Lol. Anyway, just learn from it. Never refer to a woman as fat. Ever. Never. Lol.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (31 October 2013):
 iAmHereToHelpYou + ?, writes (31 October 2013):
Saying she's fat is like saying a guy has a small manhood.... It hurts.
Absolutely correct.
YOU wouldn't be liking it one bit if she said you had a tiny penis... even as a "joke".
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 October 2013):
 Calling a woman fat is probably the worst sin a man can commit even if said lovingly and because he prefers her that way...
You make peace with her by telling her you were a total asshole and you love her no matter what she weighs... and you never ever ever mention her weight again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2013): Women are more self-conscious of their weight than men, and thanks to the media and entertainment world emphasis is placed on weight and the myth that skinny=beautiful when it comes to women; but men can be portly and still "cute" in a teddy bear kind of way.
Especially here in America.
Some women who struggle with their weight are more sensitive about it than others, and I myself (a recovered bulimic) fall into that category.
I suggest being sensitive to her feelings about weight, and just keep that in mind in the future. Meanwhile, simply apologize and tell her that she's beautiful just the way she is ;)
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