A
male
age
36-40,
*hrapnel1984
writes:I have a big question/issue. Myself and one of my friends met this girl at the same time and where I am a shy and reserved guy he is not and he hit it off with her right away. Well since then we have all been friends and I was developing a crush at the time when they decided to get a contract marriage. He and I are in the military and he wanted the extra money and she wanted the benefits. Well now they are married and he changed completely afterwards. They say they love each other but they don't get along at all and they both express their issues towards each other to me and ask for my help. Well I have fallen in love with her but the only person I have told is her twin sister. The sister tells me to talk to her more and to compliment her often since her "husband" doesn't even wanna sleep in the same bed as her. He is 19 and she is 23. Well she texts back and forth with me all day because he wont even talk to her throughout the work day. They have been married for only a month and she is miserable everyday. I don't know if I should tell her how I feel or just suck it up and let her be miserable. The big issue is that I cannot find a flaw in her at all. We have everything in common and we have a great time together until her husband pisses her off. I know that I am in love with her just don't know if it is too soon to express it. Please help I have never been this confused with a woman ever.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): suck it up! she is not only married, butshe is married to your firend!let them decided wat to do with their life without your influence. if they decide to get separated, then tell her how do you feel AFTER her divorce (if she gets divorced).
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): she is only married for 1 month and you want to mess her life now? whats wrong with you?
"The sister tells me to talk to her more and to compliment her often since her "husband" doesn't even wanna sleep in the same bed as her" plse don't listen to her sister.this will lead to disaster and they ALL will blame you. if the marriage doesn't work out then she needs to make that decsion in her life. i also think you have been a big shoulder for her to cry on for too long. its time to remove the shoulder and concentrate on yourself. i am sure you can find a single girl who can be all your own. don't settle foer sloppy seconds. you are worth more
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): I feel sorry for you i put my best friend in the situation you are in and i regret it to this day. Eventually i left my x but it took me 2 years to get with my best friend. (In the end it didn't work out and i was heart broken) Tell her!! either you unhappy n honest or your unhappy and you lie. If she tells you she doesn't love you at least you have an answer and you can move on.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (28 May 2009):
 You need to man up here., whether or not they are in a contract marriage it is not your place to insert yourself into the marriage.
Furthermore, why is the sister sticking her ass into it as well? You need to get a grip. What makes you think it's gonna be any better with you, or for you? she is using you as an excuse to leave him. And you think she wont eventually use the same line on some other goof when she tires of you?
Take my advice or don't, it's up to you. However, if you do not enjoy having a boatload of drama in your life that is unwarranted, I suggest you give this up and let their marriage crumble on it's own.
There is a lack of maturity all the way around here. Grow up and find your self someone who doesen't come with such disregard for the institution of marriage
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A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (28 May 2009):
 Hun at the moment you can't really do anything at the moment because she is married whether or not she is happy.
i mean if she is that unhappy then why doesn't she leave him?
i mean you say he's really mean to her and stuff but if she's still with him you can't really do anything.
i just don't see how she's still with him if he's really that bad towards her to be honest.
i mean he sounds quite mean i've had a boyfriend like that from the Army was all sweet then he was quite mean and stuff.
but be her friend for now and talk to her about things and if she is THAT unhappy then why is she still with him?
just don't do anything at the moment as you say she's still with him so it's a bit unfair to put her in that position.
but definately keep talking to her and trying to find out what's bothering her and why she's still with him.
Hope this helps hun.
chin up.
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