| A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes: I am 6 months in and my girlfriend always has had trouble sleeping, She goes to bed late and has been getting a little better going to bed at 11:00 or 12:00. All of a sudden she started going to bed at 10:00 or 10:30 and she says she's getting nine hours of sleep every night. She also seems happier, she has had a lot of past problems and all of a sudden she's either reluctant to tell about them to me or worry about them. I mean I'm happy she getting better but why so suddenly with no explanation. We haven't done barely anything sexual in the past month or maybe two. I have no idea what is going on. Cheating, going to parties, going out with other guys, ect. Thanks for helping. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 How old is your girlfriend? Maybe her parents have restricted use of electronic devices in the evening, so she's able to sleep better. Exercise, eating right, recovering from depression or just recognizing sleep is good for you... she could have figured out one or more of these.
As for the lack of sexual activity, well, perhaps she feels more comfortable setting her limits now?
You're 16-17, how old is she?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 ... Are you saying that cheating makes people sleepy ? :) Strange, I would have thought that , if any, a guilty conscience would keep people awake....
Anyway, it's very curious that you notice a change of behaviour in your gf and the very first reason you think is cheating or flirting with other guys.
Sleep patterns and moods may change for dozens of reasons, of which we cannot know anything whatsoever because you give us no background about your relationship. Just for the sake of discussion, she could have changed her diet, she cut on coffee , or eats more of those foods that help you sleep better ( carrots, mushrooms, tomatoes, salmon, etc. ) Maybe she exercises more now and goes to bed more tired. Maybe she was anxious and stressed out before precisely because she did not sleep enough, and now that she has retrained herself to go to bed earlier, she feels better. Maybe she had a mild bout of depression, and now she is feeling better naturally, also because warmer temperatures and longer days rise her serotonine levels.
Maybe she decided that it was time to stop blowing your ears off with her worries and problems before you could get fed up and leave her for a sunnier type of girl.
You mention a lack of sex, and, who knows, maybe that's what makes her more relaxed !, not having to have sex, supposing she is afraid to get pregnant, or feels guilty about having sex, or feels inadequate to you in bed ,
etc.etc.
We could go on for hours, my point is that the causes of her better mood and better sleep could be countless,- so why the first thing you think is , that she is happy because of another guy ?... Are you a very insecure person, or there have been trust issues before, or have you caught her cheating in the past ,...?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2016): Did she used to talk to you about them and now she doesn't? Maybe she found someone else to talk to who wasn't as emotionally invested (counselor/teacher etc) or... maybe she worked through it which results in being happier and sleeping better. If sex is less, maybe that's where the cheating thought comes in? Well, maybe sex contributed to guilt/shame/sleep problems. Maybe her bad past was sex related (abuse?) and sex subconsciously triggered it? I am full of maybes!
Ask if she is on psych meds or sleep aids. Tell her you're glad she's doing well but want to know what is helping. Ask what made that happen. Those aren't accusing questions, they're knowledge seeking
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 I find this an odd question. Cheating is not something that gives off symptoms, and just because you don't understand everything she does, does NOT mean you are entitled to accuse her of cheating.
If you wonder what is going on, learn to ask. You need to ask her, plain and simple. Without any wild accusations rooted in an overactive imagination.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2016): Is she maybe recovering from depression?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2016): Haha. I'm not laughing at you, just how you asked the question. As if people on here are like computers who can link missing information together and give an exact answer. Without details like what both of your schedules are like during the day, if you guys are in school, or have had a recent fight, or how you guys have been interacting, and what your relationship has been like in general we cant give you good insight. At this point it could be any reason why your girlfriend is doing what she does. She could be happy and working on building better habits. She could feel that talking to you about her problems could be draining to your relationship so she decided to stop. Or she could be cheating there is no knowing. You need to provide more detail to get a better and more specific response.Another thing you will realize as you get older is that their is a lot more going on in a woman's head then you realize, at least a lot more then the typical guy. Always remember that a woman is a lot smarter then she may lead you to believe. So don't expect the women you date to share everything that is going on in their heads or changes they maybe going through. You usually have to figure them out on your own.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (18 May 2016):
 Could you supply more information about the two of you please? It is difficult to make any reasonable judgement without knowing more about your relationship, your home situation, whether you are in full-time education etc.
...............................
|
