A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I came out of a long term relationship around October last year and have recently been going for drinks with a lot of different guys. There's 3 of them. I don't want a relationship right now because I feel I was tied down for a year and I just want to enjoy being young - and all 3 men know this. I never do anything with these guys other than maybe the odd kiss - nothing overly sexual though. Just like a goodnight kiss. The guys all know about eachother too. One of my "friends" said I was being a slut, and I don't think I am. I've been honest about what I want, I've been honest that there is not just one man, and I'm not "involved" with any of them. Am I slut? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): no you are not a slut, you sound like a nice person looking to be free. ignore your friends, they assume you are being laid by all 3. no matter what you tell them, (maybe they are not true friends) they may be invious, but i have learned no matter what a person does in this life, to find joy there will ALWAYS be someone looking to bring you down, for no other reason than it pleases them??? A slut is getting laid reguarly and often by whom ever comes along. Not getting laid is the opposite of a slut (a girl that keeps her legs closed)
Being a married man who comes to these site looking for sluts I should know; you are not what I consider a GOOD SLUT sorr!, when you start putting out drop me a line.
A
female
reader, hazel29 +, writes (15 February 2008):
I think you are doing the right thing, in a mature way, Similarly I have males friends and I can have mature relationships because I am still wanting to grow and develop, If your friend call you a 'slut', I do feel she must be jealous , if your not having sexual realations, you are not hurting anyone, I see there is no problem, life's too short to be miserable enjoy!!!
...............................
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (14 February 2008):
 I agree with what everyone else says here and I don't agree with your friends when they say you're being a bit of a "slut" as they so nicely put it :)
Speaking as a single bloke who also got out of what I'd describe as a suffocating and intense relationship a while ago I'm enjoying just going out with friends and having fun.
There's no rush to find "the one" as people often to refer to it. I'm in a similar situation where I probably have more lady friends than bloke mates and I go out for drinks with them all the time.
When it comes to dating, you're a free agent and you can date who you want when you want and until you feel you want to settle down then, and only then, do you need to make a decision. In the meantime, just go out, meet new people and have some fun.
Don't worry about what your friends say. They probably are a bit jealous. Good on you!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): Hi - this is the person who posted the question. Thanks for everyones kind words and advice - I guess I just needed convincing. You're all right - I think it is a sensible thing to do at my age. I was in a long term relationship before for about a year and I think I felt a bit suffocated. Now that I'm out of it, I just feel like I want to meet lots of new guys and find out what else I like. And as long as everyone knows (which they do) exactly where they stand, then theres no harm in having fun.
Much love,
xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (14 February 2008):
 Hi
Nope not at all.
You are an adult, they are adults, all know where you stand, and everyones happy right?
Lucky you! I could get into that at the moment, its not easy to meet guys round this way though.
Have fun.
C xxxxx
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (14 February 2008):
 I think your friend is being a green eyed monster here, because you are mature enogh to have boys as friends and she isn't.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honor +, writes (14 February 2008):
Well I think that you need to do what is right for you. Some people decide to date one person at a time, other people decide to date a few people at the time. Your friends obviously fall into the first category. It doesnt mean either of you are wrong with how you choose to date, people just need to do what feels right to them. I think it becomes wrong if you are hurting people's feelings but at this stage all the guys know about each other and you have been honest to everyone, so no one is getting hurt. And once no one gets hurt, I dont see what the problem is. Enjoy yourself!
Good luck x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2008): Good grief! No, you're not. If you were a bloke you'd say goodnight with a handshake or a thumb in the air, but because you're not, you say goodnight with a kiss on the cheek.
You're being a mate, 'one of the lads' if you will, and the best of luck to you, there should be more women like you around.
Phil
...............................
A
male
reader, Namatjira +, writes (14 February 2008):
No you are not a slut. In fact I think that what you are doing makes a great deal of sense at your age. It is giving you the chance to socialise and mature without getting too emotionally or physically involved. These days too many around your age think that there is something wrong with them if they are not in a steady relationship and yet unless they have had the opportunity to grow and develop as you are allowing yourself to do, then they are likely to have a rough time with immature relationships.
Congratulations and I wish you all the best. At some stage it will seem natural for you to want to settle down with one guy but until then it does not hurt to date with honesty and without the emotional complications that sex can lead to.
...............................
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (14 February 2008):
 No, you are not being a slut at all!!
...............................
|
