A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Readers,I would like to have some advise on how to convinced my girlfriend to have a sexual intercourse with me... Since she is still a virgin, it is extremely complicated to convinced her.. She always tells me to wait and wait and wait... I do not want to force her. I want to ensure that she stay with me 4 life, to do so, I chose this solution.... we have done everything you might think of on the bed, except sex. Everything was cool n fun, just when I was about to put my dick inside, she hold it n pushed back n slapped me.. I know her very well, its been 1year and 6 months since we are together... I really don't know what to do else... Any techniques, or any thing that might make her change her mind... help help...
View related questions:
still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (19 September 2010):
Thanks for the follow up.Sometimes an outside opinion can really help you see things from a different perspective.Take note of what's been said here, and respect your girlfriend. I hope things work out.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): Thanks everyone... Your answers were great, that gave me the courage to wait.. Thanks a lot.. I admit that I was foolished... I saw things in the negative way.. Now, you guys, hve made me see things in the right way....
...............................
A
female
reader, FluffyPie  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 With your attitude towards her, you'll remain abstinent.
Don't force her into making something she doesn't want to, because, even if now she might like it, in the future, she will feel grossed by only thinking about the act of sex (with you or someone else).
You guys have other priorities in life right now, so focus on them. I fail to understand why boys look for solutions on "how to make a girl get laid with you". There is such a logical answer to all this, but they follow their path... So instead of "brainstorming", have fun in other ways too. Enjoy her company, have fun together, go to a movie, build trust up.
If she wants to wait, you wait together. Maybe she has boundaries and there's no "cure" for this, maybe she thinks you'll dump her or use her for sex from now on etc. Maybe she feels insecure about you on long term. I don't know, I can only suppose.
Trust me, when a girl is not ready for this, she will regret it for the rest of her life. You don't just have sex because "everybody else does it, so why don't we?" NO. That's not the way to go. That's a sick mentality. You add sex to your relationship when you feel ready for such a commitment. Even though you've been with her for over a year, that doesn't mean you need to have sex for the simple reason that it's been so long and you're still "platonic". There is no rule for this. There could pass 5 years of a relationship and not have sex at all.
But of course, you can easily find another available girl and leave your current girlfriend alone, let her focus on the important things in life at the moment.
Good luck !
...............................
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (19 September 2010):
Good for your girlfriend! She sounds like a strong girl who knows what she wants. I am glad she had the presence of mind to react like she did with a good slap.
It was only what you deserved- in fact you deserve more in my opinion.
1) You know she wants to remain a virgin yet you STILL try and have intercourse with her in spite of this. This action indicates that you are entirely selfish and disregarding of her feelings.
2) As you knew she did not want sex, you trying to force her into it regardless seems like attempted rape in my opinion.
3) By this action I think you have betrayed her trust. If I were her I wouldn't want any sexual activity with you any more as you have proven you cannot be trusted. Despite you know she didn't want sex you decided to try it on anyway. Pathetic.
You can't convince her. If all you are interested in is sex then leave the poor girl alone and let he find someone who is prepared to respect her as she deserves.
...............................
A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 Why are you trying to pressure her to do something she obviously isn't ready to do? That isn't right.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 September 2010):
 Everyone else is right on. I want to add one more thing. You are really going too far if she has to slap you to stop. You knew she was a virgin, yet you would have gone ahead and taken it knowing that she said no to you.
There's no way you will have sex with your virgin girlfriend if you're putting that kind of pressure on her, and that's what you're doing. Getting into a hot and heavy situation and then pushing is the worst thing you can do. There are girls who get pressured like that to have sex, and the guy just "puts it in", knowing that the girl doesn't want to, and the girl protests while the guy pretends not to hear her. That's rape. You are lucky that she had the wits about her to slap you, and I don't normally advocate physical violence from anyone.
I would advise you to keep your clothes ON around her and don't get into a comprimising situation where your hormones try to get you to override a woman's decision and feelings. If she asks why you're not getting physical with her, tell her that you're respecting how she feels and will never let yourself get out of control like that again without her permission. In time, she'll relax.
Concentrate on the other aspects of your relationship. Get to know her as a person, and let her get to know you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Sweetygirl +, writes (19 September 2010):
If you love her, and really love her, then you will be able to wait! And when the time is right, she will be ready!! Trust me!!
...............................
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (19 September 2010):
 There is only one technique that works for sure. That is to wait and wait until she is satisfied that you love her and are there for the right reasons. Then she will be ready for sex.
You have to decide how important sex is to you and if it is worth leaving your gf for someone who will give you what you want. Remember pressure on her will make the situation worse as will not being true to your self and trying to just wait it out to have sex and not actually wait out of love.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (19 September 2010):
 How about accepting that she isn't ready and being grateful for what you're getting? Good grief, you're underage, she's meeting you more than half way. Stop pressuring her! If she were writing in to ask about your behaviour I'd advise her to dump you pronto -- and give her a pat on the back for slapping you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You need to get respect for her! You are pressuring her to do this! You cant make anyone to have sex with you, especially a virgin gf who obviously wants to make sure that you really love her. To be honest the best thing to do is make her more relaxed, not in the bedroom, but with your relationship, buy her things, not show you want to have sex with her, as this is probably a big put of as it looks like thats all you want from her, and she wont want to feel used.
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (19 September 2010):
 You can't change someone's mind, you can't control how people think. If she wants to wait, then you have to wait until she's ready.
If you truly love your girlfriend you will respect her wishes and will wait for her to be ready. Try finding out why she wants to wait. She might be scared that it'll hurt, just be there to reassure her if she has any worries, i'm sure you will be gentle and will take care of her when she is ready.
...............................
|
