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How could he move on so quick?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 March 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 18 March 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Me and my boyfriend of five and a half years called it quit a month and two weeks ago. One month after we separated he post pics on Facebook of him and his new girlfriend. My heart hurt in a place I never felt before. I don't know whether to move on with my life or wait for him to realize what he had. People are telling me he is trying to make me jealous, and not to think so much into. I don't understand how he has moved on when we've only been broken up for a little over a month.

View related questions: facebook, jealous, move on

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 March 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWE guys give up quickly when you girls dump us....

We're ready to bed-down our NEXT conquest within 24 hours... Sorry that you don't understand that....

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A female reader, fi_the_tree United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2012):

fi_the_tree agony auntSweetie, my ex dumped me, then got with his new girlfriend the next day!!! Its not nice, believe me I know!! Yes you're hurting, but you need a distraction now, something to help take your mind off of things. Turn these feelings you have into something positive and you'll feel better about things! Just don't let him come crawling back!!

Good luck!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntCould be she is a rebound girl. I have seen it SO many time when people who break up JUMP the first available person and starts "dating".

Doesn't men he didn't care for you or love you, just mean that HE had a different method for getting over it then you do.

And I agree get of his FB, it's NOT going to help you AT ALL in getting over him.

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A male reader, Kyle007 United States +, writes (18 March 2012):

You wrote:

I don't know whether to move on with my life or wait for him to realize what he had.

Move on with your life.

I mean, a breakup results in two people not seeing each other anymore. You've achieved that.

You don't break up with someone so they can have "realizations about how great your relationship was".

When you broke up, did you make a contract with each other as to how long it should be until either of you can see someone else again?

I am sorry, but I think its a common thread I have seen among posters on this forum that they think once someone breaks up with them that all these other "conditions" come with it. And it just doesn't work that way.

He has the right to put whatever he wants up on facebook, and you would be wise to stop following his posts. He's out of your life. You need to kindly get out of his, and that includes monitoring his life.

You no longer influence his actions. You have to accept that.

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A female reader, Falcon223 United States +, writes (18 March 2012):

I was dating a guy for 3 years.. and we broke up and as soon as a week later he was seeing another girl one that we had worked with before and i knew it could not have just happened they had to of been talking before him and i broke up. He denies it but come on. so anyways my point here is everyone told me the same thing he was just trying to make me jealous and maybe your ex is. but to be realistic you have to try and move on. I know it is hard and to this day I still have thoughts about him daily and even dream about him. but its been almost 3 years now and he is still with that girl and they now live together. I am just saying dont get your hopes up you will always have that thing for him and that is completely normal but life is too short to wait around. I found that starting my NEW life was what I loved the most going out with friends meeting new people college etc. I will never fully be over him bc he was a huge part of my life but I have now moved on and after a few rebounds and stupid decisions I have now found the guy I have been waiting for and he means ten times more than my ex ever did and i would have never in my life imagined i could love another person more. So do some retail therapy, find some new hobbies work out go tanning get feeling good about yourself and move on with your life the best you can . if he decides to come back it will be on your terms and who knows maybe you will have decided that you deserve better. hope this helps!!

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2012):

bronzed adonis agony aunt

Rather than sit there wondering how he could move on so quickly, why not accept what it has really taught you about him?

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (18 March 2012):

janniepeg agony auntTowards the end of your relationship he mentally checked out faster than you did. He would not deny what he had with you was good, but it's not good enough to carry on. When you make a decision to break up with someone, follow through and do not check up on them. The reason why you broke up was because you two couldn't communicate or there are issues that could never be resolved.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2012):

Maybe he already had her lined up, often happens. Depends how you split, who's idea it was.

Block him on Facebook, you don't need to know what he's up to do you? You need to be able to get over him, the relationship. You need to worry about you not him.

You will take much longer to recover from a broken heart if you follow his every move. Be kind to yourself.

xx

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