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How can I tell him I am pleased for him without him thinking I am jealous and that I want him back?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 November 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 November 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Me and a boyfriend split up a year ago. I ended it because he was a bit possessive and he wanted me to quit my job.

Anyway we tried to remain friends but that didn't work out. He went on a few dates and kept telling me about them. I didn't mind because I was glad to get him out of my hair.

But when I went away one weekend, being stupid, he texted how I was so I texted back and said I had met a guy and was going to watch a movie at his house. I only did it because a friend was there egging me on telling me what to text. Because I had mentioned a man he said he had girls queuing up waiting to date him, which was a bit far fetched to say the least. In the end I told him I was going out and he was spiteful and said 'going to sleep with your new boyfriend!'

My friend laughed and said it had worked winding him up. Anyway that was when we had first split up and I was immature then.

Now a year later, he has a girlfriend. I knew about it from a friend so I wasn't too surprised when he sent me an instant message and asked how I was and when I replied and asked him the same he said he was sad because he had just had to take his girlfriend home. I know for a fact he was trying to make me jealous. His mother planted it in his head, when we split up that I would want him back in the end.

But the fact is I couldn't care less about it at all and I want to tell him that, tell him I find his attitude so boring, but I know that he is so delusional that he will automatically say I am jealous.

My friend wanted me to make up a guy of my own, but I found it childish, so I didn't. I remember I once mentioned a boy who is a friend and he automatically assumed he was my boyfriend and got really aggressive.

Anyway what I want to know is, how can I tell him I am pleased for him without him thinking I am jealous and that I want him back?

Hope you can help.

Thanks xx

View related questions: has a girlfriend, immature, jealous, split up, text

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (25 November 2007):

Danielepew agony auntYou can't control what a person thinks. But, you can be very clear and straighforward with people. If they don't get the message even if clearly spoken, that's not your fault.

I think you need to make it clear that you don't care about his having a girlfriend. And the best way to say it, I guess, is something like "I'm so happy you found someone. But don't try to make me jealous, I won't be".

And, don't try to be friends with him. It's not working and it's giving him hope.

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A female reader, muffy United States +, writes (25 November 2007):

muffy agony auntwell,your situation isnt that difficult.your rigt,dont make a guy up because it is childish.ive tried it and nothing turned out good.so just tell him your happy for him and if he says your jealous just tell him your not and move on.if he doesnt believe you now,then he will once you have another boyfriend.ok.

i hope i helped

love and kisses

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