A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with a man who has a partner but says he will keep in touch with me ( we have just become good friends and I am happy as that)! - He rings on occasion - when he can get away - but on nights he doesn't I start to really panic that I will never hear from him again!!!Why am I so insecure? - I just want to hear from him and check he's ok - but I can't really ring him as it may make his partner suspicious!!It is really chewing me up inside all this hanging on the telephone for him - but when I don't hear from him I get really low!!How can I overcome this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): Im also in the same situation but the guy is also one of my best friends.
I no the simple answer is to get over him but its not that easy. These guys wont let u get over him, as soon as ur about to they grab u n charm u all over again.
i think the only way ne of us will get thru this is by stop tlkin to them all together until this has passed.
Speak to him n say u need ur space
I no its gonna be hard as I have to do it now to, it is the only way i will ever get over this guy. He's amazin n always makes me happy, he always takes care of me but then he goes back home with her everynight
it kills me
but its just somethin i have to come to terms with however hard it may be
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2008): My guess is that you want something more. He is married. Stay well away and make a life for yourself. You deserve better than waiting around for whatever scraps he throws at you.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 October 2008):
 And even cry if you need to happy24birthday? What kind of life do people put up with. It baffles me. Its like wallowing in self pity. Why choose to be miserable unless you enjoy it? TasteofIndia hit the nail on the head. How about losing the dead wood and dating someone that doesn't make you cry?
Because few people in this world are worth your tears, the one that is, wont make you cry.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday  +, writes (27 October 2008):
 I understand your frustration & low periods. I am in a similar situation. Some things that keep me going when I don't hear from him are remembering something fun we did or something he said that made my day or that I did to make his. He has various reasons when he can't contact you. Try to keep that in mind. Unfortunately, we are always going to be the last thing on the list, or the only thing on the list when there's nothing else for them to do. I know how hard it is not to be able to contact him and just not knowing. I went thru a period of about 3 months when this guy totally avoided me. Now we talk a few times a week. I still freak when I don't hear from him and think I never will again. Some of the other posters are steering you right when they offer that you should move on. However, I know that's easier said than done. If it were that simple, you wouldn't be posting a question, now would you? Try to keep busy, as that really helps me. Sometimes he's texted me all day and night for 4 or 5 days straight, and then just stopped. I don't know what it is that makes them behave this way, but they do, and we have to live with it or not. I'm not saying it's that easy, cuz it's not for me at all. I'm just saying that's the way it is. Stay busy, think about good times, and even cry if you need to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice everybody - I guess I have been bitten badly by the love bug & need time to get over it!
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 October 2008):
How can you overcome this? With an attached guy you cant! Accept thats how it goes with 3's a crowd relationships. Or find someone that has you as number 1 as oppose to his main partner.
C xxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you TasteofIndia for your reply!
- My head does agree with you but my heart is totally wrapped up in him. I know this is no way to be living as I am not being treated well - but I still feel very strongly for him and don't really feel like living it up with anyone else just yet...
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 October 2008):
 Girlfriend!!! What are you doing to yourself??
Okay, this guy really has you wrapped around your finger and you are way too good for that action! You are currently living your life by HIS terms, and that needs to stop. Obviously he's not the best fella in the world if he's cheating on his partner, so what makes him worthy of all this energy you're giving him?
You need to ditch this guy and start living your life again. You need to be happy by yourself and not waiting for the phone to ring. You are way too awesome for this! Get out there and start socializing and living it up... find yourself a fella who gives you an equal, healthy relationship.
Good luck, my darling.
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