A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I got into college last September. Although my college has many, many, ridiculously too many parties, I never went to a single one. I tried to get in the whole college spirit but I just don't enjoy getting stupid drunk and hangover.I went EVERY single day of the first semester. Most of my classes don't keep attendance. Maybe 2/6 professors call your name to check if your there - and this only happens in lab classes with few students.A few weeks into the semester I realized very few people came to lecture classes. That's because professors project a PowerPoint and basically, read it. Boring as hell. They do add a couple more details, but that all comes in the required textbooks.I live an hour away from college, so I don't find amusing to go there to have 3 classes, when I can find every single thing the professor said (including powerpoints, pictures, videos and handouts) posted online on my college's online platform.So, sometimes I stay at home sleeping, then grab my books and go studying to a quiet coffee shop.My dad doesn't understand that. He gets completely enraged when he wakes up and sees me sleeping. I already explained him my situation, and told him that I'm required to go ONLY to lab classes. Nobody likes to wake up at 5am and do a 1 hour trip for nothing.I've explained that I have every resource online, still, he accuses me of wanting to drop out (which I don't, I really do like college!), says that I just want to stay and sleep and even blames my boyfriend (who actually pressured me to go to classes, but understood my point of view.)What can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): Well I understand your point. When I was in college I too had classes that didn't take attendance and had all the resources I needed to know online. So I have been guilty of doing what you are doing too. And I graduated. In reality, people have SO much free time in college. It's nothing like high school where you have to be there all day/all week. I mean in college most kids take 4 or 5 classes which only requires about 12 to 15 hours of your time a week. That is if you go to your classes. Have you been doing well on your report cards? Show your dad your test scores and paper scores. Show him that you are studying and doing what you have to do so that he will trust that you are taking care of business. As long as you are getting good grades, and you can validate it to him he should ease up a bit.And look, your dad just wants you to have structure in your life and to show that you are not slacking off. He also wants you to be happy. Maybe he sees you sleeping and worries that you are depressed. When he sees you sleeping when he knows you have class or could be out doing other things he gets frustrated. Probably cause he worries. My father is the same way. Why don't you try to fill up your day doing other stuff. Maybe get a part time job. Join a gym. Get involved in some school activities. Hang with friends. Your dad just wants you to fill your day and your life up with activities, show that you are happy and have interests that keep you busy. That's all he wants is for you to be happy. And I suspect he is worried that you are not. You are in college now. Go be a college kid! You don't have to go to the wild parties but just be more engaged and involved in campus life and in being more productive during the day.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): Is there a better university the same distance or nearer that you could change to? It sounds very badly taught where you are at present.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 Just a guess, but I bet he's paying the tuition for a bunch of marathon naps and may just be a little bottered by it all. I wouldn't understand either. Give him a hug and ask if you can transfer to a place that offers more of a challange. You're wasting critical years of your life and he's wasting critical dollars he could be saving for retirement.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 February 2013):
 I can't believe the University is so pathetic that you can get the same out of staying home and surfe the things on the web, that says a LOT about your university or how you perceive learning.
I have to say as a parent, I wouldn't be thrilled with any of my kids wasting time like this. If your Dad is paying for it, either show up or drop out. (or alternatively, drop out in favor of an online educational program).
You go to school to be amused? Or to learn?
How are your grades?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2013): Nothing until you get your grades for the year. Until then you just have to tolerate it because not attending lectures does seem lazy and you know it.
You've already explained your reasons as best you could, the only way he'll be satisfied is when he sees your grades (assuming they're good of course).
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