A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm hurt and confused, would you feel the same if you noticed your husband has a contact photo attached to his ex wife, his ex crush and even a platonic female friend but none for you. Does this mean I'm not pretty enough or not as special? His ex was definitely not a looker. We've been together 3 years, he hasn't been with his ex in 5 1/2 yrs. I had to put the breaks on their continued friendship since she couldn't maintain proper boundaries - texting and calling late at night, holidays, valentines day, their "special" days, wanting to stay with him while we dating. How do I process this? I hate feeling second best. I hate feeling jealous that what they had might have been better than what we have. He doesn't communicate his feelings well but he's a very good man with a good heart. How do I get past this feeling?
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crush, ex-wife, his ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 March 2014):
 have you ever asked him why he doesn't have a picture for you?
my phone picks up the facebook profile picture for most of my friends... only if I take a picture and assign it to someone who doesn't have facebook do they have a picture.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (11 March 2014):
 Her picture is still in his contact list so when she calls he doesn't have to think before he clicks ignore. If you are so jealous of her picture, you can quickly remedy the situation. You obviously have permission to snoop around and mess with his phone. Just put your picture in and replace hers with a walrus. He won't mind, trust me.
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2014): Thank you both. They don't have any children or investments together. They were friends before their partnership, they were together 15 yrs, then continued with a "friends w benefits" deal for a few years after she broke up the marriage - "he just wasn't what she wanted". He was hurt but knew that was eventually coming. I need to not let this be an issue for us.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (11 March 2014):
 My husband doesn't have a photo in his phone for me either - but not for his ex either. He has for his brother and that is it.
With their past history of inappropriate behavior I understand why you feel that way. But like Ciar says, it wouldn't be on my radar either, I really couldn't give a flying fart who he has a photo off in his contacts.
And I also agree with the question of WHY she is in his list. Do they have children together?
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 March 2014):
 Honestly, this wouldn't even be on my radar of things to worry about save from a security/privacy stand point. If his cell phone is ever lost all his information including a picture of me would end up in some stranger's hands. If everything else in the relationship is fine, I couldn't care less who had a picture next their name in his contact list. If what they had was so great, they'd still have it. His ex crossed the line before and you dealt with it. Besides this recent thing has he given you any other reason to be concerned?Why is she even in his cell phone contact list? Do they have children together or co-own some investment property or something?
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