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He's the one who has cheated yet he doesn't trust me

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Long distance, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2021)
A female India age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hello, dear cupid, I want to know something about my boyfriend's behaviour. I've been dating him since the past five years it's a long distance relationship,we met in a youth conference, he asked my number and after that we started chatting and talking through calls and video. It's already been five years and in the beginning of our relation he cheated on me with 5 girls, but then I forgave him a give him a chance though I still have trust issues. But recently I feel he doesn't trust me, though I tell him everything about my daily life and routine. Well most of the time, when I don't receive his calls when I'm busy or when I switch of my phone, he talks rudely and used many abusive words. Sometimes he call me a prostitute. And sometimes he ask me whether any guy has visited me or not. Even when I tell him the truth he doesn't believe me. I really don't understand what to do. Please could you guide me.

View related questions: cheated on me, long distance, prostitute

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2021):

Are you afraid, or too insecure about yourself to date guys in-person?

Five years?!! Seriously?!!

Time to find a local-guy who's decent and respectful. You didn't need advice from anonymous strangers to tell you that. That's common sense.

What you're doing is desperately clinging to someone bad for you; while he messes-up your mind, and renders you incapable of being a sensible and rational person. Thus, all future relationships will fail; due to your trust issues, insecurities, and emotional damage.

I bet your parents have been trying to give you advice; but you choose not to listen to them. Most parents want their children to find love and happiness; not many want them conducting long-distance online-relationships. While missing-out on learning how do deal with personality-types and how to resolve issues within their relationships in real-time. Developing interactive and communication-skills on a personal-level. Rather than hiding behind your devices; to disguise your flaws, or to hide things you don't like about yourself.

Oh yes, you do know what to do! You just don't want to dump him! The only thing you should do!!!

I know this was harsh. It had to be. It's to make you think and realize how much you're hurting yourself. It's not entirely his fault that he can mess you up. You're giving him permission to!

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 May 2021):

kenny agony auntOP, you should of ditched this guy after the 5th time he cheated on you, this was your time to step up to the plate and get rid.

He is cheating on you left right and center, and is covering this up and calling you a cheater, and all the other horrible names that go with it. It not uncommon for the cheater to act this way.

He has no respect for you, and he NEVER will. He will keep cheating on you, and abusing you because you let him get away with it.

OP he is a loser, and not a good person, and is not someone you want in your life. You are worth more than this.

Dump this guy and move on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2021):

He is cheating so he thinks you are to.Dump him.Find someone local so you can be in a real relationship.Long distance does not work for everyone and to waste five years on one where you are the only one faithful is just wasting your time.Five years of time.You are just being used.Please wake up and see this.Find a real man not a cheating boy.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (24 May 2021):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntSweetheart, if he is speaking to you in this abusive manner already, how do you think he will treat you if you are ever together for real? He is giving you a taste of what life will be like with him and you should be hearing loud sirens blaring and seeing huge red flags waving frantically. Life with him will be exactly as it is now, except it will escalate over time and become increasingly worse.

For some reason, you have given him a free pass to cheat and you are giving him a free pass to disrespect you. What is it going to take for you to realise this guy is a scumbag and that you deserve better? You are getting an honest preview of what this guy is like and yet you still cling onto him. Why? Do you believe having an abusive disrespectful disloyal "boyfriend" is somehow better than being single?

You can do so much better and you deserve so much better. You need to keep in mind that you deserve to be treated well. You do not deserve someone who is unfaithful to you. You do not deserve to be abused. This horrible specimen is already doing both. I can tell you FOR A FACT, life with him would be hell for you. He will be completely controlling and unfaithful while accusing YOU of being unfaithful. If he is already calling you names, where do you think this abuse will stop? Is it going to take a good beating before you realise this guy is bad news?

Please try to figure out why you are setting such low standards for the way someone treats you, realise you deserve to be treated with respect and loyalty, and find someone who treats you accordingly. This guy is bad news for ANY woman. Don't make him YOUR problem.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (23 May 2021):

Honeypie agony auntAww, OP

He is being abusive and has cheated 5 times, isn't it time you OPEN your eyes and see this guy IS NOT a good man? That he is NOT going to be a good and faithful husband down the line? If he has cheated 5 times already, getting married won't stop him.

He is being accusatory and abusive because it's easier to have YOU on the defensive. And because HE thinks if HE can cheat so easily, you can too. He doesn't factor in that YOU are a DECENT woman who doesn't want to be unfaithful.

What he is doing is to make himself feel better about the cheating. And because he no longer respects you.

You might want to consider ending it and looking for a guy who is a WHOLE package, good and faithful.

He sounds like a piece of ... crap.

Dump the loser. No DECENT man will call his LOVE a prostitute.

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