A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few weeks ago. She insists she just needs time to find herself and I'll give her that. I'm not going to get my hopes up.. if we get back together it will be a new relationship.. not the same one.Anyway.. my problem is this guy she hangs out with. When we were still together she used to hang out with him quite a bit and would sometimes ignore me to text him.. stuff like that.. when she was with me. I tried not to be jealous or upset but he definitely wasn't on my list of favorite people. Any way. When we were together she told me i didn't need to worry about him and it didn't seem like I needed too as every week he had a new crush that he was trying to ask out and often asking her how to do it. Now that we are apart he has turned her attention to her. He follows her around everywhere and has basically demanded that she text him. He's actually being kind of creepy. I saw a conversation where he just sent her her name and a :) then said he just wanted to say her name. She has told him she doesn't want to date him or anyone right now. She has told me that. She has told her mom that. And I believe her. But he's constantly flirting with her and following her and it's starting to get to the point where he's practically a stalker. Yet she just keeps playing along with it. She doesn't necessarily flirt back but she doesn't tell him it's inappropriate. I get that the flirting probably makes her feel good and she doesn't want to lose a friend or what ever but it's starting to worry me. The more time that passes the worse he's getting and not only am I worried about her but I feel like I'm about to snap. It's not okay the way he is acting and I tend to have a short fuse... I know that wont solve anything.. I don't know what to do...
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broke up, crush, flirt, get back together, jealous, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): Dude, she's cheating on you and this other guy is stalking her! Whatever it is, you need to intervene before he kidnaps your girl and tries to kill you. This is what happens when most girls cheat on their boyfriends. The other guy they cheat with could be a potential stalker who would then be a rapist, kidnapper, or murderer. It's dangerous for girls to cheat. They're risking their lives here. So better be safe than sorry, bro.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 She is playing along with it and she is not telling him he is being inappropriate. Whatever the reason ( she craves attention or values the friendship ) she is an adult and capable to make her own decisions , one of which is to not get rid of her suitor. (That's what he sounds btw - a suitor ,not a stalker ) So yes, I understand you don't like what's going on, but if you intervene you would definitively be crossing a line and I don't know if your ex would be happy with that.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 What does it matter? You guys are now broke up and she's free to date/see whomever she pleases, even if it's a potential stalker.
I don't see this guy as stalking your recent ex. In fact your ex is liking the attention she is receiving. That's why she isn't telling him to stop or back off.
Sorry pal, I know you still like her and have her best interests at heart, but she is no longer your concern. You really don't have a right to intervene.
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