A
female
age
36-40,
*eadwreckedR
writes:I met an Irish guy doing the regional work in Aus and became close. While he went on a road trip for a few weeks,I met someone else,which only ended up as a fling, and had to tell him when he returned before Christmas. He was very hurt and bitter. But eventually got over it and we became friends.Over the last few months me and him have become really good friends and I started to develop feelings. One of Our mutual friends keep telling me he doesn't feel the same way anymore about me as he used to be crazy about me,wanted a relationship with me,but I really really hurt him. Which I didn't realise until he came back. Anyway,he has always since shown his attraction to me,teasing me,tickling me,staring at me,and one night two months ago we slept together.the group of friends all say that we are perfect together and that we will be a couple in time. We ended up sleeping together 2 months and and He has recently told me he wants to start a casual thing with me which I agreed on. He is extremely shy when sober but when drunk he will act like I'm his gf,always wanting to be close to me,holding my hand,hinting about going traveling in the future together,holding me extremely tight in bed. But when sober,it's always me texting him,he doesn't make plans to see me unless we have plans with s group and thees drink involved and I'm too shy to ask him to meet up. I really miss him when we're not together. I really feel like I want a relationship with him as we are perfect together. He has always wanted me. But to what extent? Is he holding back from me because I hurt him so much? Or is he maybe not feeling ready to commit? Is he punishing me for my mistake? I should also note that I'm 30,he's 25. His actions and drunk words tell me he has feelings but he holds back when sober,almost to the point now where he avoids seeing me. He won't txt me unless I txt him. It's almost like he's avoiding me,which I don't understand as when we're together and he's sober his body language,eye contact and shyness tells me he's crazy about me. This only gets more clear as he drinks. I want to tell him how I feel but afraid I will lose him as a friend,and we are such great friends,I can't imagine not having him in my life. He is a very lovely,genuinely nice guy. I would love an outsider's perspective on how he could possibly feel.
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female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 November 2016):
 Why post the same question twice, maybe go back and look at the other answers you got and update us or ask us questions.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2016): You already got some insightful answers earlier - why did you post the same question again?
If you feel so strongly about him then let him know. See what he says. Since you want more you have to go all out. You can't be reticent at a time like this. But if he doesn't return your feelings, then do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of (in a sense) - that is, become a FWB because it seems clear that you want more. You'll only hurt yourself if you go down that path.
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